Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Remember this guy?



Well, he remembers you. And, that spot on the floor about midway around the horn between the elbow and the corner and 16 feet from the hoop. Kurt Thomas skipped down the court popping his jersey and jawing with the crowd after hitting a HUGE shot from that favorite spot of his. O'l crazy eyes helped seal the victory for the Sonics down the stretch with five points in the last 2 and half minutes.

Around the Internets in Eight Minutes

-What's Worse? A sip of curdled milk or the smell of someone else's vomit? What Worse? Cam Cameron as your coach or Isiah Thomas?

-Larry Bird + 1982 + tight, blue jeans + roller skating = AWESOME

-NBAer Mike Miller owns a monkey. Hilarity ensues.

Pre-Gaming: Knicks vs. Sonics

There are only two reasons to watch or attend tonight's game:

1. Kevin Durant


2. Kevin Durant

Talk Show Fodder

That is what the Knicks are these days. Here are some folks wondering why.

We said, He said

We: "FIE-ER, EYES-AE-AH"

Isiah: "I fight 'til I die. It's not about giving up or quitting. To me, it's win or die. I literally mean death, I don't mean 'walk away.' I mean death. That's how I have coached. We've got a job to do here and we're going to get it done. I'm confident we have the right players and confident we have the right people, and we'll dig our way out of this."

We: "Boooooooooo"

Zach Randolph: "It's real hard. I ain't never been in a situation like that and I don't understand. I guess they say it's New York fans, but you know it's real tough. Honestly. Especially for me, because I've never experienced every time a player walks off the court you're booing.

We: DEEEEEE-FENCE!

Guy sitting in front of me: "You don't deserve to wear number 34"

Me: "Jesus Christ Curry, grab a f*#king rebound!"

Eddy Curry: Wimper, wimper.*

We: "FIE-ER, DOE-LAN"

Dolan: (via flunky Barry Watkins) "I'm not considering removing Thomas from his dual role as president and coach."

We: "FIE-ER, EYES-AE-AH!"

Isiah: According to courtside fan, Thomas invoked the phrase "Sixth Man," explaining what a crowd should be. Thomas mentioned Indiana and North Carolina as crowds that the Garden should emulate.

*I'm paraphrasing

The Better Half

(ESPN has Erin Andrews, FOX has Pam Oliver, ABC has Michelle Tafoya and What Would Oakley Do? has Becca. Please join me in welcoming our first-ever sideline reporter/guest columnist. "The Better Half" will appear in this space each and every week and will feature the best, brightest and prettiest sports-related musings in all of the land in an attempt to explain what our girlfriends and wives are thinking when we ask them if they want to order wings before the Giants game starts.)

The Better Half
Episode Four
If I Was That Bad At My Job I'd Be Fired By Now: A Haiku Inspired By
Courtney Rabb


Went to the Knicks Game
And guess what? They lost again.
Please Fire Isiah

Wednesday's Starting Five

1) Bobby Petrino. The now former-Falcon has flapped his leathery wings over to Arkansas where he will be head coach of the football team, replacing the ignominiously fired and comically named Houston Nutt. It seemed appropriate that this press conference was held in the middle of the night. Petrino has never stayed at one gig for more than four years (Louisville) and seems eager to out-Saban Nick Saban in his own SEC backyard. And, if I were Brian Brohm I might be a little nervous. Everyone assumed that in spite of his team's lackluster season (although he still put up great numbers) that he would be drafted by his old coach in Atlanta near the top of the draft and get all that top of the draft money. What now?

2) Fukodome. Superstar Japanese outfielder with any number of obscene nicknames has inked a 4-year deal with the Cubs.

3) The Jets. Opened up as 27-point road 'dogs to the Pats. I hear the line is currently a bargain at 24 points. The Jets are not going the Steelers route and are speaking meekly about their chances. Meanwhile, every fantasy football team is adding Patriots in anticipation of the 80-points that Brady and Moss are going to hang on these guys in retaliation for revealing the spying that they do. You've got to wonder what each coach has cooked up for the other. Does Belichick leave his punter inactive and go for it on fourth down every time? Does Mangini have some sort of Chad/Kellen combo gameplan to catch the Pats off guard?

4) George Mitchell. The long-awaited report on the use of performance enhancing drugs in Major League Baseball by a one-time politician, one-time Disney exec and current employee of the Boston Red Sox (talk about conflictS of interest) is set to be released tomorrow at 2pm. Will this be the moment that we've all been waiting for (definitive appraisal and judgement of the steroid era with concrete suggestions for addressing the issues of records and the manner in which future and retroactive punishment should be handled), a rupper stamp of the league's slightly beefed up testing or a pointless sacrifice of a handful (anywhere from 5 to 50) of players without any substantive change or alteration in the drug culture? We'll see. Soon.

5) Lebron James. The King was back on the court last night and the Cavs beat the Pacers to get back on track. Lebron took the floor (suprisingly as a sub) with recently returned from exile forward Anderson Varejoa.

Benched: Tuesday. Who needs it? I don't.