Thursday, November 27, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Brett Favre Is "The Notorious Butt-Slapper"
Much has been written about the fawning and seemingly amorous prose sportswriters have been spinning about Brett Favre. This a source of much amusement among the denizens of the Interwebs. I have no doubt that we all will be treated to even more effusive fellating of the aged QB now that the Jets knocked off the previously undefeated Titans of Tennessee. There will be premature celebrations throughout Strong Island and songs will be sung of Favre's glory.
But, I don't know if there will be anything in Newsday or any of Peter King's columns that is as bizarrely (and chock full of homo-erotic undertones) focused as something that appeared over at the World Wide Leader this past Friday. Greg Garber penned an article purportedly about the way in which Favre's enthusiasm has lifted the spirits of his teamamtes but literally about the way in which the ol' gunslinger is known for playing grab-ass. Garber's story came in just under 900 words and just under 200 of those words were in some way a riff on butt-slapping. There were a few statistics mixed in and tip of the cap to Kris Jenkins and Alan Faneca but Garber kept coming right back to buttocks. He's obsessed. There are quotes from two people that were clearly the result of line of questioning focused on asses. To make sure readers understood the motif of his article, Garber even rammed home a regrettable "backside" pun.
But, let's stop talking about the story and just take a look at it. Below is the opening paragraph and then just the ass-grab sections for your reading pleasure:
FLORHAM PARK, N.J. -- Factoring in the breeze whistling across the open fields, it was well below freezing when, grudgingly, the Jets took the practice field Wednesday. For Brett Favre, it was another day in wind-chilled paradise, just another summer day back at Lambeau Field.
Gerber comes charging out beneath the cold-grey October sky doing his best Grantland Rice impression. At this point this story could still be about football. It's more likely to be some counterintuitive soft-focus schlock about the similarities between North Jersey and Wisconsin in November, about the way in which the cold weather and the warm response by the fans are mixed in equal measure in both places. But it could still be about football.
While most players moved briskly to the next drill, Favre pantomimed a slow-motion jog that drew laughs. He lined up linebacker Eric Barton for an emphatic butt-slap and, later, caught backup quarterback Kellen Clemens with the same stinging, signature maneuver.
OK. So, we're choosing to stand on the sloped-shoulders of guys like Peter King, who have written the "Favre-is-just-a-big-kid having-fun" story into the ground. It's not an interesting story but it's a safe one and, I guess, if you actually are paid to cover the National Football League then at some point you are obligated to write your own version. I think it's in the Union bylaws. Still, things are starting to get a little weird. Right? I mean the alliterative "stinging, signature maneuver" is farandaway the most worried over phrase in the article thus far. Garber has thought long and hard and deep thoughts about the forceful sting of Brett's large calloused hands. He's no doubt witnessed many acts of childishness from Favre yet has tied his story to this one. Thank you. Um, it's a little strange but whatever, I'm sure he'll get right back to football.
"He is the notorious butt-slapper," Cotchery said. "You have to watch out for him because you may be stretching out or something, and he just comes out of nowhere."
And, we're through the looking ass. Err. Glass. Because, now, Garber is clearly asking questions about the butt-slapping. He's found his angle for the story and this is it.
Mangini himself was victimized last Thursday night on national television. Moments after the Jets had defeated the Patriots, Favre accepted a hug from Mangini, then as Mangini walked away -- whack!
"At that point, it was perfectly fine," Mangini said. "No problem. I didn't even feel it. Shoot, with what I'm working with, I wouldn't feel much."
When a reporter asks a coach or a player a question they are almost always leading them towards the answer that fits the story they've constructed before hand. More often than not, players cooperate. You can only assume that Garber's dream quote from Mangini would have been "Shoot, Brett always tells me that it's more cushion for the pushing."
Favre understands he's on the backside of his career.
Wait for it. Wait for it. And, there is it is. I wonder if Garber understood that by shoehorning "backside" in at this point, as he gets ready to close out his story and shoots for some measure of poignancy, that he has become totally obsessed with butts. Or, do you think that he was worried that readers not might not see where he was going? Maybe he thought that he better get this "backside" thing in there just to be safe. He has decided to tell the tale of one of the game's all-time great players through the prism of ass. Nice. You can say what you want about Favre's penchant for self-aggrandizement and the ridiculous way in which he is publicly fondled by most of mainstream media but you can't really deny what he's done on the field with the Jets lately and the very real way in which this team does seem to be rallying around him. You can't deny those things. At least, not this week. And, Mr. Garber set out to write exactly about those things, about the GREAT Brett Favre and this is how he thought best to chronicle it? By goosing Cotchery into calling him "the notorious butt-slapper." I'm sure Garber's instructors at whatever J-School he went to are totally impressed.
Despite the gee-whiz attitude, the grab-ass antics, Favre feels his age every day.
Behold the awful march of Time: not even "grab-ass antics" can keep Peter Pan young and forever in touch with the muscled buttocks of men half his age.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
The Conversation
Understanding the Knicks Trade Bonanza As Text Messages Between Three Brothers
WWOD? (1:47 p.m.): Knicks r trading crawford
The Salesman (1:49 p.m.): What
The Student (1:49 p.m.): Wat?
The Student (2:41 p.m.): I dn like it
WWOD? (5:09 p.m.): And randolph
The Salesman (5:11 p.m.): F0r wh0
WWOD? (5:21 p.m.): In theory… Lebron after next season
Friday, November 21, 2008
Zach Randolph Is No Longer A Knickerbocker
Both the LA Times and the News are reporting that the Knicks have traded Zach Randolph to the Los Angeles Clippers for Cutino Mobley and Tim Thomas. For the past dozens of minutes this story wasn't popping up elsewhere but Alan Hahn at Newsday just confirmed the trade, which also sends Mardy Collins to LA.
Open In Case of Emergency
If the Knicks manage to trade Zach Randolph to the Mavericks or Clippers this afternoon then does exiled point guard Stephon Marbury have to be in uniform tonight? Generally, 1-3 players are inactive for each game with Jamal Crawford (already traded to Golden State) and Z-Bo out the door then the Knicks might not be able to keep anyone in street clothes. If you let Marbury wear a uniform then do you play him? Or do you just run the Quentin Richardson and Nate Robinson ragged at shooting guard?
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Our World In Pictures
The now defunct but once glorious and omnipresent LIFE magazine has opened up their photo archives. You can search them through Google. And you should. But you probably won't so I rounded up some of the choicest images from New York sports teams.
YANKEES
Gehrig and DiMaggio watching batting practice in 1939
Casey Stengel during the 1958 World Series
Roger Maris during the 1960 All-Star Game
Roger Maris smoking a cigarette in the clubhouse during the 1960 All-Star Game
Mickey Mantle stretches during Spring Training in 1967
Mickey Mantle takes batting practice during Spring Training in 1967
GIANTS
Giants pitcher Carl Hubbell throwing a curve ball in 1940
Meeting on mound at Polo Grounds in 1952
Willie Mays (left) with teammates on bus in 1954
Mays ducking inside pitch against the Dodgers in 1954
Mays shaving before game of 1954 World Series in Cleveland
Giants pitchers in bullpen at Polo Grounds during September 1956 game against Dodgers
DODGERS
Dolph Camilli, Manager Leo Durocher and Lyn Larry sitting in Ebbets Field dugout during game in 1939
Dodgers manager's wife Nellie Durocher smoking a cigarette in stands at Ebbets Field
Dodgers Manager Charlie Dressen talking with Iraq's King Feisal II and Jackie Robinson
Dodgers property manager John Griffin in 1955
Jackie Robinson rounding third during Game 3 of 1955 World Series
METSMarion Mets (Minor League) roadtrip n 1967
2B Ken Boswell makes a play against the Atlanta Braves in 1969
Tom Seaver pitches to Willie Stargell in 1969
Tom Seaver in 1969
Bud Harrelson in dugout during game against Cardinals
Jets
Joe Namath on sideline in 1968
"Broadway Joe's" opened in Miami in 1969
Namath and Farrah Fawcett wearing towels in 1981
NY FOOTBALL GIANTS
Giants versus Steelers in November 1960
Lincoln Crow catching ball versus Giants
Giants versus Cardinals in November 1960
NY Giants Jim Patton, Y.A. Tittle, Del Shofner and Roosevelt Brown in 1962
KNICKS
Knicks @ Cincinnati Royals in 1959
Bill Bradley in 1968
William Baldwin with Knicks City Dancers in 1993
The Topics:
giants,
Jets,
Knicks,
Mets,
MLB,
NBA,
NFL,
Photo Essay
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Friday, November 14, 2008
National Lampoon's European Draft Pick
The Comedy of Knicks Euro-drafting Errors
"La gatta frettolosa ha fatto i gattini ciechi."
The Italian curse words (and proverbs, perhaps) were likely flying fast and furioso behind closed Knickerbocker doors this week. And, no it's not because of Roma's disappointing start to the Series A season. It's because rookie forward Danilo Gallinari is out indefinitely due to a back injury. The timetable for his return (or just his "turn" since he was never really here which means he can't really "REturn") is more like months than weeks, and missing the season entirely is a real possibility. The Knicks selected Gallinari with the No. 6 pick in the recent NBA draft and he has been able to appear in one summer league game and 11 minutes of one regular-season game. Which is not exactly what we all had in mind when ESPN NNBA guru Chad Ford was touting this kid as "the perfect weapon for his new team: a 6-10 point forward who knows how to think the game." Although, I guess El Gallo has really been thinking the game lately, since he surely hasn't been playing it.
Now, Gallinari is young. He's just 20 years old. He's still growing. He doesn't have a known history of injury and he's been playing professional ball since he was 16. He should have a bright future ahead of him even if he misses this entire season. He should. But, him being from the Old World and this organization being the New World Knickerbockers does not bode well for his career. After all, hearing your name called by a Knicks rep on draft night has historically been a death sentence for European prospects.
The Knicks European Draft Picks Through the Years:
2008
Name: Danilo Gallinari
Draft Pick: 6
Position: SF/PF
Height: 6-11
Age When Drafted: 19
Home Country: Italy
Notable Players Knicks Could've Picked Instead: Everyone but five guys. Like lots of people.
What Happened: He experienced some lower back soreness following his debut in the Vegas Summer League in mid July. In that debut he scored 14 points in the second half after a timid first two quarters. The back pain led him to be ruled out of the rest of the summer league and eventually led to him to limited participation during the preseason. After make a cameo in the regular-season-opening win over the Heat in late October. Reports on Gallinari's health varied from him him needing back surgery to the pain all being in his fearful head.
2003
Name: Maciej Lampe
Draft Pick: 30
Position: Forward/Center
Height: 6-11
Age: 18
Home Country: Poland (by way of Sweden)
Notable Players Knicks Could've Picked Instead: Jason Kapono, Luke Walton, Steve Blake, Mo Williams, Keith Bogans, Kyle Korver
What Happened: Lampe never suited up for the Knicks. He was, however, part of the multi-player trade that landed Stephon Marbury back in New York. He went on to play parts of three seasons with the Suns, Hornets and Rockets before falling out of the Association. During those three years he played in 64 games and averaged 3.4 points and 2.2 rebounds per appearance. After giving up on the NBA, Lampe found himself playing in the Russian Basketball Super League. He currently plays for BC Kimki and was named the MVP of the Russian cup final.
Name: Slavko Vranes
Draft Pick: 39
Position: Center
Height: 7-5
Age: 20
Home Country: Serbia
Notable Players Knicks Could've Picked Instead: Zaza Pachulia, Keith Bogans, Mo Williams, Kyle Korver
What Happened: Mr. Vranes never played a single minute in a Knicks uniform and played just three minutes in the NBA during his "career." He saw three minutes of run for the Portland Trailblazers in 2003-2004. During those epic three minutes, which came in the waning moments of blowout loss to the Timberwolves, he missed his lone field goal attempt and committed a personal foul. After returning to Serbia he ended up signing with a team in the Turkish Basketball League. They were underwhelmed and loaned him to another club. Vranes fled home shortly thereafter. Still, being 7-foot-5 he was able to nab a multi-year contract from a Belgrade-based side in 2007.
2002
Name: Milos Vujanic
Draf Pick: 35
Position: Point Guard
Height: 6-2
Age: 21
Home Country: Serbia
Notable Players the Knicks Could've Picked Instead: Juan Carlos Navarro, Matt Barnes, Darius Songaila, Rasual Butler, Luis Scola
What Happened: Milos's case seems slightly different than that of the gangly likes of Lampe and Vranes. Vujanic is a point guard, and seemingly a pretty good one, who eschewed the NBA for the comfort of the Euroleague. Vujanic, like Lampe, was part of the eight-player blockbuster that brought Marbury to NYC. But he never suited up for Phoenix. He stayed on the Continent and tore it up over there, leading the Euroleague in scoring in 2002-2003 with 25.8 points per game. More recently, he won the Euroleague title with Greek side Panathinaikos in 2007. Vujanic now plays with Dyanmo Moscow.
1999:
Name: Frederic Weis
Draft Pick: 15
Position: Center
Height: 7-2
Age: 22
Home Country: France
Notable Players the Knicks Could've Picked Instead: Ron Artest, James Posey, Jeff Foster, Kenny Thomas, Devean George, Andrei Kirilenko, Gordan Giricek, Francisco Elson, Todd MacCulloch, Manu Ginobli
What Happened: Last and certainly least, we come to the man who started it all. The man who begat the "Curse of Frederic Weis." It was June 30, 1999 and the Knickerbockers were five days off a shock run to the NBA Finals. The Minnesota Timberwolves were on the clock with the fourteenth pick. They selected William Avery out of Duke. Clearly a blunder. And fans in Madison Square Garden were ecstatic. Everything had worked out how they hoped. They were going to be able to add a hometown player to a roster that had just reached the NBA Finals. The team was going to reload and make one more sustained charge at a title before Patrick Ewing's contract ran out just a little bit down the road. It was perfect. Until it wasn't. Until it was a joke. And perhaps even a curse that would affect every draft pick going forward.
Because the Knicks didn't select Ron Artest with the fifteenth pick of the 1999 NBA Draft. Artest, who grew up in Queensbridge and went to college at St. John's, was the player that every Knicks fan wanted. He could defend. He could score. He'd shined on the court at Orchard Park and in the Elite 8. He was everything this town wanted in a Knickerbocker. He was one of us. And he has yet to play for the home team at MSG since he left school. The Knicks selected French big man Frederic Weis. He was a seven-footer and he never set one foot on the court during an NBA game. In fact, he never even signed a contract with the Knicks. The Chicago Bulls, meanwhile, quickly nabbed Artest with the sixteenth pick of the draft. His pro career has been a non-starter even though it has managed to stay alive. He currently plays for a team in Bilbao in the Spanish league. In spite of (or, really, because of) his irrepressible mediocrity and timidity, Weis was a part of one of the more memorable moments in the last decade of hoops history. While playing for the French National Team at the 2000 Olympics he was entirely cleared by Vince Carter as he threw down an amazing dunk.
In France the posterization of Weis is known as "le dunk de la mort." That means, the dunk of death.
hype it up!
"La gatta frettolosa ha fatto i gattini ciechi."
The Italian curse words (and proverbs, perhaps) were likely flying fast and furioso behind closed Knickerbocker doors this week. And, no it's not because of Roma's disappointing start to the Series A season. It's because rookie forward Danilo Gallinari is out indefinitely due to a back injury. The timetable for his return (or just his "turn" since he was never really here which means he can't really "REturn") is more like months than weeks, and missing the season entirely is a real possibility. The Knicks selected Gallinari with the No. 6 pick in the recent NBA draft and he has been able to appear in one summer league game and 11 minutes of one regular-season game. Which is not exactly what we all had in mind when ESPN NNBA guru Chad Ford was touting this kid as "the perfect weapon for his new team: a 6-10 point forward who knows how to think the game." Although, I guess El Gallo has really been thinking the game lately, since he surely hasn't been playing it.
Now, Gallinari is young. He's just 20 years old. He's still growing. He doesn't have a known history of injury and he's been playing professional ball since he was 16. He should have a bright future ahead of him even if he misses this entire season. He should. But, him being from the Old World and this organization being the New World Knickerbockers does not bode well for his career. After all, hearing your name called by a Knicks rep on draft night has historically been a death sentence for European prospects.
The Knicks European Draft Picks Through the Years:
2008
Name: Danilo Gallinari
Draft Pick: 6
Position: SF/PF
Height: 6-11
Age When Drafted: 19
Home Country: Italy
Notable Players Knicks Could've Picked Instead: Everyone but five guys. Like lots of people.
What Happened: He experienced some lower back soreness following his debut in the Vegas Summer League in mid July. In that debut he scored 14 points in the second half after a timid first two quarters. The back pain led him to be ruled out of the rest of the summer league and eventually led to him to limited participation during the preseason. After make a cameo in the regular-season-opening win over the Heat in late October. Reports on Gallinari's health varied from him him needing back surgery to the pain all being in his fearful head.
2003
Name: Maciej Lampe
Draft Pick: 30
Position: Forward/Center
Height: 6-11
Age: 18
Home Country: Poland (by way of Sweden)
Notable Players Knicks Could've Picked Instead: Jason Kapono, Luke Walton, Steve Blake, Mo Williams, Keith Bogans, Kyle Korver
What Happened: Lampe never suited up for the Knicks. He was, however, part of the multi-player trade that landed Stephon Marbury back in New York. He went on to play parts of three seasons with the Suns, Hornets and Rockets before falling out of the Association. During those three years he played in 64 games and averaged 3.4 points and 2.2 rebounds per appearance. After giving up on the NBA, Lampe found himself playing in the Russian Basketball Super League. He currently plays for BC Kimki and was named the MVP of the Russian cup final.
Name: Slavko Vranes
Draft Pick: 39
Position: Center
Height: 7-5
Age: 20
Home Country: Serbia
Notable Players Knicks Could've Picked Instead: Zaza Pachulia, Keith Bogans, Mo Williams, Kyle Korver
What Happened: Mr. Vranes never played a single minute in a Knicks uniform and played just three minutes in the NBA during his "career." He saw three minutes of run for the Portland Trailblazers in 2003-2004. During those epic three minutes, which came in the waning moments of blowout loss to the Timberwolves, he missed his lone field goal attempt and committed a personal foul. After returning to Serbia he ended up signing with a team in the Turkish Basketball League. They were underwhelmed and loaned him to another club. Vranes fled home shortly thereafter. Still, being 7-foot-5 he was able to nab a multi-year contract from a Belgrade-based side in 2007.
2002
Name: Milos Vujanic
Draf Pick: 35
Position: Point Guard
Height: 6-2
Age: 21
Home Country: Serbia
Notable Players the Knicks Could've Picked Instead: Juan Carlos Navarro, Matt Barnes, Darius Songaila, Rasual Butler, Luis Scola
What Happened: Milos's case seems slightly different than that of the gangly likes of Lampe and Vranes. Vujanic is a point guard, and seemingly a pretty good one, who eschewed the NBA for the comfort of the Euroleague. Vujanic, like Lampe, was part of the eight-player blockbuster that brought Marbury to NYC. But he never suited up for Phoenix. He stayed on the Continent and tore it up over there, leading the Euroleague in scoring in 2002-2003 with 25.8 points per game. More recently, he won the Euroleague title with Greek side Panathinaikos in 2007. Vujanic now plays with Dyanmo Moscow.
1999:
Name: Frederic Weis
Draft Pick: 15
Position: Center
Height: 7-2
Age: 22
Home Country: France
Notable Players the Knicks Could've Picked Instead: Ron Artest, James Posey, Jeff Foster, Kenny Thomas, Devean George, Andrei Kirilenko, Gordan Giricek, Francisco Elson, Todd MacCulloch, Manu Ginobli
What Happened: Last and certainly least, we come to the man who started it all. The man who begat the "Curse of Frederic Weis." It was June 30, 1999 and the Knickerbockers were five days off a shock run to the NBA Finals. The Minnesota Timberwolves were on the clock with the fourteenth pick. They selected William Avery out of Duke. Clearly a blunder. And fans in Madison Square Garden were ecstatic. Everything had worked out how they hoped. They were going to be able to add a hometown player to a roster that had just reached the NBA Finals. The team was going to reload and make one more sustained charge at a title before Patrick Ewing's contract ran out just a little bit down the road. It was perfect. Until it wasn't. Until it was a joke. And perhaps even a curse that would affect every draft pick going forward.
Because the Knicks didn't select Ron Artest with the fifteenth pick of the 1999 NBA Draft. Artest, who grew up in Queensbridge and went to college at St. John's, was the player that every Knicks fan wanted. He could defend. He could score. He'd shined on the court at Orchard Park and in the Elite 8. He was everything this town wanted in a Knickerbocker. He was one of us. And he has yet to play for the home team at MSG since he left school. The Knicks selected French big man Frederic Weis. He was a seven-footer and he never set one foot on the court during an NBA game. In fact, he never even signed a contract with the Knicks. The Chicago Bulls, meanwhile, quickly nabbed Artest with the sixteenth pick of the draft. His pro career has been a non-starter even though it has managed to stay alive. He currently plays for a team in Bilbao in the Spanish league. In spite of (or, really, because of) his irrepressible mediocrity and timidity, Weis was a part of one of the more memorable moments in the last decade of hoops history. While playing for the French National Team at the 2000 Olympics he was entirely cleared by Vince Carter as he threw down an amazing dunk.
In France the posterization of Weis is known as "le dunk de la mort." That means, the dunk of death.
hype it up!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
D'Antonisms
"They don't have Deron Williams. We don't want to get to excited. We'll just, you know, chill out. But, you know, that's three games in a row where I thought we were moving the ball. I thought we were playing well. You could see a little spirit starting to, you know, get between and them and that was good."
-On win over Jazz
"It's unbelievable. The guy can't jump at all and he's uh, well, you know, I don't even think he played particularly well but he's 25 and 14. There's maybe one other person in the world who can do that and he does it. And you gotta give him credit. He didn't, you know I told him at one point, I had to remind him that we were in the white shirts and not the blue shirts. He kept hitting the blue guys. So, you know, but he's got a knack and, like you said, those offensive rebounds, and come up, he came up with a couple big defensive plays and a couple of big hoops.
-On Zach Randolph's strange but effective skillset
Thursday, November 6, 2008
They're Not Saying "Booo." They're Saying "Dooo." Oh, Wait.
On Chris Duhon Not Being a Good Point Guard
If you frequent this space then you no doubt have noticed that I'm not overly enthusiastic about the play of starting point guard Chris Duhon. During the home opener I wrote that "I am not extending him the benefit of the doubt in the first eight minutes of the season." That is true. Thus far in his NBA career he hasn't earned that.
I was skeptical of the acquisition when it went down in July and wrote that I "don't know if he is the Knicks starting point guard (though he seems to think he is), a pass-first back-up or just someone else that Donnie Walsh is throwing at the wall to see if he sticks." Now, we know he is the starting point guard. We know that he starts over Stephon Marbury. We know that Marbury hasn't gotten one minute of run so far this season. We know it is awkward.
Skepticism aside, I am clearly predisposed to being won over by anyone in a Knicks uniform. Heck, I've even been writing glowingly of Zach Randolph for the past week. Anything is possible. I'm a Knicks fan. Obsessively. Compulsively. I want to like these guys and I want to believe in them. Even if just to be able to tell myself that all these words aren't for nothing. But, I'm done with Duhon. He shows me nothing. His mediocrity is what makes me want to chant "We Want Steph" from the rooftops of Midtown.
Duhon's play is uninspiring and uninspired. On the offensive end he has no authority. He is not an engine for the offense. He doesn't orchestrate anything. He isn't the transmission for the offense. He doesn't pick up tempo and push the ball in transition or slow the team down when it is moving too fast. He isn't the steering wheel, moving teammates and defenders around the floor with his dribble or his passing. He isn't event the seat belt, keeping us safe and steady in case of a sudden turn in the game. Duhon isn't any of those car parts. Rather he is something like the special-order fog lights that some guy in your high school auto shop class put on his blue 1987 Dodge 600. Yeah, you understood that a car should have fog lights but not why he needed special-order, neon ones when the factory lights worked and were already on the car. Chris Duhon is those lights. He's something you can say you went out and got but was undeniably and utterly needless and purchased just so things would look better rather than perform better.
In trying to legitimize my dislike for the former Duke captain (and show that I'm just not against him because he is a former captain at Duke), I've gone to the numbers. The cold hard facts. Duhon is on the floor more than any other Knickerbocker, averaging 37 minutes per game. During those minutes the numbers are not pretty at first sight: 27 points and 19 assists through four games. Those are not averages. Those are totals. And, the numbers are even less attractive with a little deeper analysis.
Since no one would ever, ever pretend that Duhon is a scoring point guard (and the numbers would embarrass them if they did), you might disregard the point total and just assume that the strength of his game is distributing the ball and getting good shots for his teammates. False. He does not do those things. Through four games, Duhon has just three passes that have resulted in layups or dunks for his teammates. His other 16 passes that were slotted into the box score as assists only landed there because his teammates made plays or hit jump shots after getting the ball in their hands. And since Duhon is not a penetrate-and-kick player, or even a player who has shown an above average aptitude for getting to the rim or into the paint, those jump shots have not, for the most part, been open.
Dribbling the ball up the floor after a made hoop by the other team does not make you a point guard. It just makes you someone playing basketball. When watching a point guard it is seeing-eye bounces passes on the break, needle-threading darts to big men in the paint, and those dribble-kick gifts to open sharp shooters that make us take notice. Those are the tools of the trade. That is running the point. And even though Duhon is listed as a point guard he is as fraudulent in that role as Joe the apparently unlicensed Plumber is in his.
To substantiate this claim I went rifling through the game-postmortems from other NBA teams to see how other point guards around the Association fare in the passes-leading-to-dunks-and-layups category*. While Duhon has racked up a staggering tally of three such passes in four games (zero in the opener, two against Philly, 1 against Milwaukee and zero against Charlotte), while averaging the fourth most minutes of any point guard in the NBA to this point, four of his own teammates have already surpassed him in this category, all while playing fewer minutes and having less of the ball. Jamal Crawford has five LorD (layup-or-dunk**) dimes, Nate Robinson has seven LorD assists, David Lee has four and so does Zach Randolph. For crying out loud, the Zach-hole has arguably set up more easy buckets for teammates than Duhon.
Obviously, assists from big men are a different animal since they are more often making shorter passes nearer to the rim or out of double teams to open teammates. So I don't want to make too much of Randolph and Lee here but it is worth pointing out. Still, looking at the assist numbers for Nate and Jamal it is clear that those two have a far greater capacity for play-making then the team's lead point guard. And, this fact is made far more obvious by watching the game then by looking at these numbers in a vacuum.
The tale of the tape is even less flattering for Duhon when you compare him to point guards playing for other teams around the league rather than his teammates. When studying a point guard on a D'Antoni-coached team I felt compelled to begin my investigation by seeing how Steve Nash has fared in the LorD assist category through his first four games. While averaging 32.2 minutes (almost five minutes less than Duhon) per game, Nash doled out 16 LorD assists in the first four games that he played this season. Now that is point guarding. Nash, of course, is a two-time MVP and someone who even Duhon's most ardent supporters (who I'm not sure actually exist outside of the Duke campus) would say is in another class. So, let's move on down the line, having established the high end of the spectrum with Nash.
Chris Paul racked up a more modest 11 LorD dishes in his first four games. Not quite as impressive as Nash but still far, far superior to Duhon. Paul managed 3+ such passes in three of the four games that the Hornets have played whereas Duhon hasn't topped three in 148 minutes. Again, Paul is an unfair comparison. Let us try to find someone in more comparable situation. How about Devin Harris of the NJ Nets? Harris has passed five passes that led to layups or dunks while While averaging less than 31 minutes per game in the first three games that he has played. He equaled Duhon in the team's second game alone and is already at 166% of Duhon's total while playing one less game. And, the Nets are brutally bad and openly tanking in hopes of landing Lebron James. Next up, I decided to check in on my March man-crush Derrick Rose. While he's no doubt a superior talent, Rose is playing in his first week in the NBA and Duhon is purported to be a steady veteran so I don't think this is totally unfair. And, it's pretty close. Rose has just four LorD assists over four games in which he averaged 35.2 minutes. The difference, though, is that Rose led the Chicago Bulls in scoring in two of those four games. Aside from the fact that he is just getting his high tops wet in the game, he brings other things to the table. Duhon, meanwhile, is the guy who just brought his fork to the pot luck dinner.
Yet, so far he plays more minutes per night than all but three other point guards in the NBA: Tony Parker, Jose Calderon and Chris Paul. Two of those three are legit stars in this game and the third is an up-and-comer who is tabbed to reach that level. Chris Duhon is not that caliber of player. Not even close. Which brings us to the elephant in the room with a sneaker logo emblazoned on his head: Stephon Marbury. When discussing Duhon's shortcomings it is unavoidable (even though I've done a good job thus far) to raise the specter of Marbury, who has been and might still be a top-notch player at the position. While I will weigh in on the buyout/don't buyout debate later, all that matters when it concerns Duhon is that Marbury is on the team right now and he is much, much better at playing the position. Right now.
For all of his personal foibles and public missteps, Marbury is a supremely gifted point guard. Through the first five games of the 2007-2008 season he registered 16 LorD assists. Which, for those uninclined to arithmetic, means Duhon needs to hand out 13 such passes in the Knicks next game just to tie him. After the fifth game of last season, Marbury and the Knicks boarded a chartered plane bound for Phoenix. They were set to start a four-game road trip with a game against the Mike D'Antoni-coached Suns. Aboard the plane, hurtling westward, former Knicks coach Isiah Thomas attempted an ill-fated motivation gambit which resulted in an argument/altercation with Marbury. Depending on who you believed Marbury was either sent home by Thomas or went AWOL shortly after the plane landed. Given Thomas's recent untruths regarding his overdose and just about everything else we've learned about him since last November, I know who I'm inclined to believe. Either way, Marbury was a no-show that night in Phoenix when D'Antoni's Suns beat the Knicks.
A few-days-short-of-a-year later, I can't help but wonder if the Marbury-related drama at the outset of the 2008-2009 season has its roots in those events in November 2007. I can't help but think that D'Antoni's stance on Marbury was formed in the crucible of those events. After all, he was full-time NBA coach and couldn't have been expected to actually be keeping tabs on the Knicks unless they were right in front of him. I can't help but think that somehow Isiah Thomas is still sabotaging the Knicks and Marbury. And, you thought I couldn't somehow blame him for Duhon!
Because, you see, D'Antoni's playing-for-the-future mantra doesn't really hold water when it comes to Duhon, who signed a two-year deal during the offseason. Chris Duhon is not the future of this team. There is zero chance that Duhon will be the team's starting point guard a single day after his two-year contract expires. And, neither will Mardy Collins or Anthony Roberson, who combined with Duhon form, arguably, the worst point guard trio in the Association (I don't count Nate as a PG right now because his role at this time is clearly as offensive spark plug). None of those guys are the point guards of the future and there is not a snow ball's chance in Hell that any of them will be on the roster entering the Summer of Lebron's Free Agency after next season.
There is no way that Donnie Walsh is going to try to lure LBJ to come to a Knicks team that is helmed by a player like Duhon. No chance. So, Duhon is not the future. Wilson Chandler may be. David Lee may be. Jamal Crawford may be. But not Duhon. And, therefore he shouldn't be the present. Duhon is not even close to the Steve Nash -type player that D'Antoni wants to run his offense and he is not nearly good as Stephon Marbury, who D'Antoni has at his disposal to run his offense.
*I will readily admit that this made-up statistic may be misleading, especially on a Knickerbocker squad with little interior presence, and that I am no John Hollinger when it comes to numbers. But I do think that this made-up stat gets to the heart of what Duhon's game lacks: playmaking ability and making-teammatest-better ability. And, hey, at least I'm trying to back up what I think.
**In a few cases (but really like three or less for all of these numbers) I've included a pass that led to a "1-foot shot" in my calculations.
If you frequent this space then you no doubt have noticed that I'm not overly enthusiastic about the play of starting point guard Chris Duhon. During the home opener I wrote that "I am not extending him the benefit of the doubt in the first eight minutes of the season." That is true. Thus far in his NBA career he hasn't earned that.
I was skeptical of the acquisition when it went down in July and wrote that I "don't know if he is the Knicks starting point guard (though he seems to think he is), a pass-first back-up or just someone else that Donnie Walsh is throwing at the wall to see if he sticks." Now, we know he is the starting point guard. We know that he starts over Stephon Marbury. We know that Marbury hasn't gotten one minute of run so far this season. We know it is awkward.
Skepticism aside, I am clearly predisposed to being won over by anyone in a Knicks uniform. Heck, I've even been writing glowingly of Zach Randolph for the past week. Anything is possible. I'm a Knicks fan. Obsessively. Compulsively. I want to like these guys and I want to believe in them. Even if just to be able to tell myself that all these words aren't for nothing. But, I'm done with Duhon. He shows me nothing. His mediocrity is what makes me want to chant "We Want Steph" from the rooftops of Midtown.
Duhon's play is uninspiring and uninspired. On the offensive end he has no authority. He is not an engine for the offense. He doesn't orchestrate anything. He isn't the transmission for the offense. He doesn't pick up tempo and push the ball in transition or slow the team down when it is moving too fast. He isn't the steering wheel, moving teammates and defenders around the floor with his dribble or his passing. He isn't event the seat belt, keeping us safe and steady in case of a sudden turn in the game. Duhon isn't any of those car parts. Rather he is something like the special-order fog lights that some guy in your high school auto shop class put on his blue 1987 Dodge 600. Yeah, you understood that a car should have fog lights but not why he needed special-order, neon ones when the factory lights worked and were already on the car. Chris Duhon is those lights. He's something you can say you went out and got but was undeniably and utterly needless and purchased just so things would look better rather than perform better.
In trying to legitimize my dislike for the former Duke captain (and show that I'm just not against him because he is a former captain at Duke), I've gone to the numbers. The cold hard facts. Duhon is on the floor more than any other Knickerbocker, averaging 37 minutes per game. During those minutes the numbers are not pretty at first sight: 27 points and 19 assists through four games. Those are not averages. Those are totals. And, the numbers are even less attractive with a little deeper analysis.
Since no one would ever, ever pretend that Duhon is a scoring point guard (and the numbers would embarrass them if they did), you might disregard the point total and just assume that the strength of his game is distributing the ball and getting good shots for his teammates. False. He does not do those things. Through four games, Duhon has just three passes that have resulted in layups or dunks for his teammates. His other 16 passes that were slotted into the box score as assists only landed there because his teammates made plays or hit jump shots after getting the ball in their hands. And since Duhon is not a penetrate-and-kick player, or even a player who has shown an above average aptitude for getting to the rim or into the paint, those jump shots have not, for the most part, been open.
Dribbling the ball up the floor after a made hoop by the other team does not make you a point guard. It just makes you someone playing basketball. When watching a point guard it is seeing-eye bounces passes on the break, needle-threading darts to big men in the paint, and those dribble-kick gifts to open sharp shooters that make us take notice. Those are the tools of the trade. That is running the point. And even though Duhon is listed as a point guard he is as fraudulent in that role as Joe the apparently unlicensed Plumber is in his.
To substantiate this claim I went rifling through the game-postmortems from other NBA teams to see how other point guards around the Association fare in the passes-leading-to-dunks-and-layups category*. While Duhon has racked up a staggering tally of three such passes in four games (zero in the opener, two against Philly, 1 against Milwaukee and zero against Charlotte), while averaging the fourth most minutes of any point guard in the NBA to this point, four of his own teammates have already surpassed him in this category, all while playing fewer minutes and having less of the ball. Jamal Crawford has five LorD (layup-or-dunk**) dimes, Nate Robinson has seven LorD assists, David Lee has four and so does Zach Randolph. For crying out loud, the Zach-hole has arguably set up more easy buckets for teammates than Duhon.
Obviously, assists from big men are a different animal since they are more often making shorter passes nearer to the rim or out of double teams to open teammates. So I don't want to make too much of Randolph and Lee here but it is worth pointing out. Still, looking at the assist numbers for Nate and Jamal it is clear that those two have a far greater capacity for play-making then the team's lead point guard. And, this fact is made far more obvious by watching the game then by looking at these numbers in a vacuum.
The tale of the tape is even less flattering for Duhon when you compare him to point guards playing for other teams around the league rather than his teammates. When studying a point guard on a D'Antoni-coached team I felt compelled to begin my investigation by seeing how Steve Nash has fared in the LorD assist category through his first four games. While averaging 32.2 minutes (almost five minutes less than Duhon) per game, Nash doled out 16 LorD assists in the first four games that he played this season. Now that is point guarding. Nash, of course, is a two-time MVP and someone who even Duhon's most ardent supporters (who I'm not sure actually exist outside of the Duke campus) would say is in another class. So, let's move on down the line, having established the high end of the spectrum with Nash.
Chris Paul racked up a more modest 11 LorD dishes in his first four games. Not quite as impressive as Nash but still far, far superior to Duhon. Paul managed 3+ such passes in three of the four games that the Hornets have played whereas Duhon hasn't topped three in 148 minutes. Again, Paul is an unfair comparison. Let us try to find someone in more comparable situation. How about Devin Harris of the NJ Nets? Harris has passed five passes that led to layups or dunks while While averaging less than 31 minutes per game in the first three games that he has played. He equaled Duhon in the team's second game alone and is already at 166% of Duhon's total while playing one less game. And, the Nets are brutally bad and openly tanking in hopes of landing Lebron James. Next up, I decided to check in on my March man-crush Derrick Rose. While he's no doubt a superior talent, Rose is playing in his first week in the NBA and Duhon is purported to be a steady veteran so I don't think this is totally unfair. And, it's pretty close. Rose has just four LorD assists over four games in which he averaged 35.2 minutes. The difference, though, is that Rose led the Chicago Bulls in scoring in two of those four games. Aside from the fact that he is just getting his high tops wet in the game, he brings other things to the table. Duhon, meanwhile, is the guy who just brought his fork to the pot luck dinner.
Yet, so far he plays more minutes per night than all but three other point guards in the NBA: Tony Parker, Jose Calderon and Chris Paul. Two of those three are legit stars in this game and the third is an up-and-comer who is tabbed to reach that level. Chris Duhon is not that caliber of player. Not even close. Which brings us to the elephant in the room with a sneaker logo emblazoned on his head: Stephon Marbury. When discussing Duhon's shortcomings it is unavoidable (even though I've done a good job thus far) to raise the specter of Marbury, who has been and might still be a top-notch player at the position. While I will weigh in on the buyout/don't buyout debate later, all that matters when it concerns Duhon is that Marbury is on the team right now and he is much, much better at playing the position. Right now.
For all of his personal foibles and public missteps, Marbury is a supremely gifted point guard. Through the first five games of the 2007-2008 season he registered 16 LorD assists. Which, for those uninclined to arithmetic, means Duhon needs to hand out 13 such passes in the Knicks next game just to tie him. After the fifth game of last season, Marbury and the Knicks boarded a chartered plane bound for Phoenix. They were set to start a four-game road trip with a game against the Mike D'Antoni-coached Suns. Aboard the plane, hurtling westward, former Knicks coach Isiah Thomas attempted an ill-fated motivation gambit which resulted in an argument/altercation with Marbury. Depending on who you believed Marbury was either sent home by Thomas or went AWOL shortly after the plane landed. Given Thomas's recent untruths regarding his overdose and just about everything else we've learned about him since last November, I know who I'm inclined to believe. Either way, Marbury was a no-show that night in Phoenix when D'Antoni's Suns beat the Knicks.
A few-days-short-of-a-year later, I can't help but wonder if the Marbury-related drama at the outset of the 2008-2009 season has its roots in those events in November 2007. I can't help but think that D'Antoni's stance on Marbury was formed in the crucible of those events. After all, he was full-time NBA coach and couldn't have been expected to actually be keeping tabs on the Knicks unless they were right in front of him. I can't help but think that somehow Isiah Thomas is still sabotaging the Knicks and Marbury. And, you thought I couldn't somehow blame him for Duhon!
Because, you see, D'Antoni's playing-for-the-future mantra doesn't really hold water when it comes to Duhon, who signed a two-year deal during the offseason. Chris Duhon is not the future of this team. There is zero chance that Duhon will be the team's starting point guard a single day after his two-year contract expires. And, neither will Mardy Collins or Anthony Roberson, who combined with Duhon form, arguably, the worst point guard trio in the Association (I don't count Nate as a PG right now because his role at this time is clearly as offensive spark plug). None of those guys are the point guards of the future and there is not a snow ball's chance in Hell that any of them will be on the roster entering the Summer of Lebron's Free Agency after next season.
There is no way that Donnie Walsh is going to try to lure LBJ to come to a Knicks team that is helmed by a player like Duhon. No chance. So, Duhon is not the future. Wilson Chandler may be. David Lee may be. Jamal Crawford may be. But not Duhon. And, therefore he shouldn't be the present. Duhon is not even close to the Steve Nash -type player that D'Antoni wants to run his offense and he is not nearly good as Stephon Marbury, who D'Antoni has at his disposal to run his offense.
*I will readily admit that this made-up statistic may be misleading, especially on a Knickerbocker squad with little interior presence, and that I am no John Hollinger when it comes to numbers. But I do think that this made-up stat gets to the heart of what Duhon's game lacks: playmaking ability and making-teammatest-better ability. And, hey, at least I'm trying to back up what I think.
**In a few cases (but really like three or less for all of these numbers) I've included a pass that led to a "1-foot shot" in my calculations.
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