Wednesday, January 27, 2010

I Award You No Points

Dear people whom used to occasionally read the middling nonfiction of Paul Shirley and, like me, tend to enjoy unsentimental contrarian points of view:

Like many of you, I spend a lot of time perusing the Internets. Last night was no different. Well, except that I kept my pants on the whole time. Shortly before 8 p.m., I slouched on the couch. My netbook sat open on the living room table and the Knicks game played on the television. As the Knicks did their very best to make up for being thoroughly debacled by Dirk Nowiztki and the Dallas Mavericks on Sunday afternoon (and with a 25-point first quarter lead over Minnesota they were already doing a fine job), I stopped by Deadspin. The first thing I noticed was the picture of US soccer player Charlie Davies lounging and beaming at some casino. Davies’ speedy recovery from a car accident that left him physically shattered (broken bones in legs, arm and face) and another passenger dead is flat-out amazing. But, I digress. I’m not writing you to discuss such a positive and uplifting story. I’m writing you, dear friends, to talk about the NBA washout and sometimes ESPN columnist who thinks that Roberto Clemente was a chump. I’m writing you about Paul Shirley’s screed against Haiti and those who feel compelled to send aid in the aftermath of the devastating earthquake that struck just outside the island nation’s capital earlier this month.

Barry Petchesky’s post on Deadspin directed me to Shirley’s original editorial at FlipCollective as well as to Shirley’s Twitter page, where he had responded to a few followers who had left less than complimentary reviews his story. In one response, Shirley called out an early critic for not carefully crafting a 2,000-word response. Well, Mr. Shirley’s intellectually vapid, factually misleading and emotionally bullying words were stuck in my head. As was his Twittered request. And, I ended up at my desk late into the night typing away just the sort of reasoned rebuttal that Shirley claimed to be looking for. But rather than send it to him. I want to share it with all of you. Especially with those you who have enjoyed his work and be inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt or trust his assertions.

Shirley opens up his essay, entitled If You Rebuild It, They Will Come, with, what he announces to be, a provocative statement. He informs his readers that he is not planning on donating any money or time to the crisis in Haiti. He then equates donating money to aid in the immediate saving of lives in the aftermath of a devastating earthquake that struck mere miles from Haiti's most densely-populated urban center to giving spare change to a homeless man on the street. Shirley’s comparison presumably implies that all the homeless are created equal and that all are to blame for their condition. Which is why it would be foolish to give them any money. I think. This sort of generalization and willful ignorance of the role that circumstance plays in our lives characterizes much of writing that follows. Bearing this in mind, the piece de resistance of Shirley’s editorial is his personal letter addressed “Dear Haitians.”
First of all, kudos on developing the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. Your commitment to human rights, infrastructure, and birth control should be applauded. As we prepare to assist you in this difficult time, a polite request: If it’s possible, could you not re-build your island home in the image of its predecessor? Could you not resort to the creation of flimsy shanty- and shack-towns? And could some of you maybe use a condom once in a while?
Sincerely,
The Rest of the World

In his message to the people of Haiti, Shirley explicitly blames them for actively “developing the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere.” It would seem that he believes the minor and major players in Haitian history plotted an exact course from the Eighth Day of Genesis right through midday January 12, 2010, at which point their entire poorly-planned scheme backfired thanks to an earthquake in Port-Au-Prince that they should have seen coming when their ancestors were forcefully relocated their centuries ago. Again, Shirley exhibits a steadfast belief that we all control our environments and our destiny to a degree that makes us largely blame for what happens to us. Even natural disasters. In other words, did you see what she was wearing? She was totally asking for it.

Early on, Shirley makes it clear to his readers that he is far too clever for sympathy and empathy. He will not be duped out of $10 via text message by such Hallmark-peddled emotions. Fair enough. Perhaps the psychological concept of Just-World Phenomenon is highbrow enough for him to fall prey to, though. Just-World Phenomenon is the fallacy held by some who make value judgments based on the false assumption that everyone gets what they deserve, that the individual largely determines his or her own circumstances and fate. Essentially, this is the worldview of a naïve person who thinks the world is a fair place for everyone. This is a way of viewing the world that allows you to blame ALL poor people for their plight. This is the sort of mindset that causes one to assume that all homeless people are as morally bankrupt as they are fiscally bankrupt.

Perhaps Mr. Shirley’s preposterous—and I don’t mean that as an insult because I'm rather impressed—propensity to fail upward has led him to believe that each of us live lives whose possibilities and limits are defined by our actions alone. That Fate is a benevolent force rewarding the just and punishing the wicked. Where birthplace, economic strata and local custom play no role in defining our options. If there was ever a place on this earth to disprove those who believe in the Just-World Phenomenon then that place is Haiti.

For the sake of Mr. Shirley, let’s trace a brief history of Haiti. The nation of Haiti is one half of the island of Hispaniola, which was discovered by Christopher Columbus when he was poking around over here in the late fifteenth century. He claimed the land for Spain. A bit down the road, as the geopolitical fortunes of Spain suffered, the island became a French colony. And it was booming, producing tons of revenue and a top travel destination for slaves being imported from Africa. There was rampant deforestation on the small island as room was cleared for cash crops like sugar and coffee and housing for the enormous slave population. The ecosystem was not a concern to the small ruling class who presided over the commerce and the ever-growing slave population. Just a short boat trip to the north sat twelve British colonies. The citizens of these colonies were free white men (and those guys owned slaves of their own). Led by George Washington and Thomas Jefferson, among others, these colonists declared independence from their British overlords and waged a war to secure their freedom. They won. But they kept their slaves. Obvi. A few years after the Americans won their independence,there was a bloody decade-long revolution in France. The common people rose up against the Ancien Regime. Revolution was most certainly in the air as the eighteenth century came to a close. And the trade winds brought the fresh air of freedom to Haiti. The island was overwhelmingly populated by slaves. And they yearned for freedom. Led by peasants-turned-generals and fueled by the same ideals that had been lionized in the newly formed United States of America and the recently enlightened France, the Haitians won their freedom in 1804. Yeah, they beat Napoleon. On their own. Because the US declined requests for aid. After all, nobody in US wanted slaves in the southern states to get any ideas.

The Haitians hard-fought victory, won after years of bloody conflict, is the only successful slave revolt in the modern world. The triumph created the first free black republic. In the aftermath of the war, France, reeling from the loss of its cash-cow colony, sent the Haitians a bill and demanded payment. The bill was for themselves. And the US was all like, “yeah, you’re going to have to pay that if you ever want your sovereignty acknowledged” The Haitian people were then forced to reparations for themselves! Because, you see, the French budget was all mussed up without the free work being provided by their Haitian slaves. Somebody must pay! Just think about that. Keep thinking. And, I haven’t even mentioned that the fledgling Haitian government was forced to take on loans at unsympathetic interest rates just to pay their “debt” to France. 80% of the national budget in Haiti was still allocated to making these payments in 1900. They didn’t finish paying off the debt until 1947. By then the economy was ruined, the politics were corrupt and many of the problems that Shirley blames today's Haitian people for were already rampant. The second half of the 20th century included various dictators and coups and near-constant meddling from the US Government who promoted our own economic and military interests at the expense of the development and independence of the local people. There is a long list of native trouble makers who took advantage of the situation as well as a long list of idealists who tried to make the country a better place. But long story short, Haiti is about as fucked a place as you’ll find. Ever. Anywhere. From George Washington and Napoleon to Papa Doc, there have been a lot of cooks in the kitchen as this particularly noxious stew was cooked up. Yet, Shirley blames the Haitians alive right now (or dead only recently) for the circumstances in the country. Yeah. Ok. So, I guess it’s Brook Lopez’s fault that the IZOD Center sucks?

Having established his reasons for not feeling sympathy about the people of Haiti—because this is all their fault—Shirley then moves on to his next misguided point. He rails against aiding the people suffering in Port-au-Prince by contributing money right now because their hometown was built on a fault line and such a location is not suitable for habitation, especially by so many people. When embarking on this misadventure, Shirley makes no distinction between immediate life-saving disaster relief being conducted by non-partisan groups like the Red Cross and a blank check being handed to a government bureaucrat behind closed doors. He envisions his donation being used to for business as usual in Haiti. Perhaps he doesn't grasp the magnitude of the devastation because he's altogether discounting the earthquake when talking about sending cash to this island. Parts of this rant may as well have been written last month. Actually, had they been written in December 2009 then some of this would make a lot more sense. But right now, today, people are dying and starving and in need of medical care.

And as far as his assertion that Port-au-Prince should not be rebuilt, maybe Shirley should take off his “logic-colored glasses” and realize that there is no reset button for history or geography. No one would have logically set up a lot of things exactly the way that they currently are. My girlfriend wouldn't be about to move to New Jersey if that wasn't where her boyfriend lived. And I surely wouldn’t allow a guy who uses the phrase “logic-colored glasses” to write professionally. I also wouldn’t have set up Haiti the way that it is currently composed. But that decision is not ours to make. And, it’s not for Haitians to make either. They were born there. I was born in New Jersey. Like everyone else on the earth, they were born into a civilization with established population centers. One such location, Port-au-Prince, happened to be on a fault line. But so are lots of other major urban centers. Lisbon was rocked in 1755 by an earthquake and then consumed by a tsunami and fires. Bucharest was leveled after a 5-minute quake in 1977. Mexico City was all messed up in 1985. Yet these places still exist. And, I don’t think that Shirley disapproves of their existence. Although I bet he's got a few choice things to say about Mexicans. Someone reading his article does get the impression that Shirley’s only problem with FEMA in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina was that their feet dragging wasn’t done on purpose.

Ironically, Shirley was born in Redwood City, California (although he was raised in Kansas). This small city is located on the San Francisco Peninsula and is part of the Bay Area. A professor at UC Berkley first identified the San Andreas Fault line in 1895. It’s named after a small lake just south of San Francisco. You know what also lies south of San Francisco? You guessed it. Redwood City. Should Shirley’s birthplace be allowed to exist by his logic? Should San Francisco? After all, that city was famously leveled during an earthquake in 1906? And we all remember watching live footage of that quake that struck during the 1989 World Series being contested between Oakland and San Francisco. Who let those heathens rebuild? As Americans have rebuilt New Orleans in the years after Hurricane Katrina there has been an increased awareness of building stress-resistant structures and planning with deference for the wrath of Mother Nature. If Shirley actually put in the effort then he could have made an intellectually defensible point that was still shocking enough to draw some press. He might have tried something along the lines of the “Well, this earthquake and tragic loss of life is the best thing that ever happened to Haiti because now they’ll be forced to start from scratch.” But he doesn’t seem to conceive of Haitians rebuilding or improving their circumstances because he seems to deny them the capacity for this. Because they are, in his eyes, like the homeless: Completely responsible for their lot in life.

Aside irrationally blaming Haitians for being trapped under fallen buildings and lobbying for area of Port-au-Prince to be abandoned, the most maddening aspect of Shirley’s post is his conflation of my personal donation to Red Cross and a government-to-government aid transfusion were funds are allocated as Haitian officials see fit. He comprehends no distinction between humanitarian disaster relief and long term governmental aid programs. These things are very different. The Red Cross will keep someone alive tomorrow with money that I gave today. That is vital and noble. Any monies that the Haitian government gets from the US or the World Bank ten years from now or ten years ago could very well line the pockets of politicians. International aid is a tricky thing and corruption is rampant. But this is not a reason to avoid helping earthquake victims!

If Shirley took the time to make a distinction between avenues of aid then he could be writing about the flawed methodologies of international organizations and his contrarian desire to withhold the sort of aid least likely to work—as opposed withholding the aid that is saving lives right now—until outdated ideas are discarded. But he doesn’t really want anyone to give anything to anyone in need. Ever. Because it's likely the victim's fault. Because they’re poor. And they're stupid jerks. Stupid jerks who don’t use condoms. The “condom” remark toward the end of Shirley’s “Letter to the Haitians” provides perhaps the most telling moment of the entire article. Because it represents another chance to make a valid point about the politicization of foreign aid in Third World countries. But, Shirley either doesn’t know the history or doesn’t see the connection. Instead, he makes a joke. Man, those black people sure have a lot of babies! Oh! And a lot of AIDS! Snap! And, I know that we all love a good AIDS joke around the Internets but the problem here is the seething blame that he places on these people. Not once in this whole story does he ask “Why?” or “How?”

If he did, he might know that one reason (among many) that condom use is so low in countries receiving US aid is that for decades a certain block of our politicians have tried to curtail birth control use domestically and abroad. Since at least 1973, the US Government has refused to allow any foreign aid to be spent directly on abortions in any country and in 1984, Reagan instituted what is known as “the global gag rule, ”which forbids US aid to go to any hospital, clinic or organization that performs or even provides education about contraception. If a clinic wanted US help then they couldn't even TALK about condoms. During his presidency, Clinton lifted this rule [insert horny Clinton joke here] but Bush II propped it right back up again as he championed abstinence-only education at home and overseas. Sadly, one reason why so many people in underdeveloped countries like Haiti don’t use condoms is that our country has been limiting access to them. Add this to the fact that much international aid in places like Haiti comes directly from Christian charities who are ideologically opposed to contraception and suddenly it becomes somewhat more clear why there’s not a four-door sedan in every driveway and a condom on every dick.

If Shirley had done the slightest homework on the way in which ideology influences aid then he could have made yet another insightful and still contrarian argument for withholding aid in certain instances (or at least from giving via certain avenues), but he didn’t do that. He blamed the people who are standing in line for the water and bandages. There is undoubtedly a huge global struggle to figure out the best way to distribute aid to undeveloped countries. The clash between the immediate relief of giving a man a fish and the long-term relief of teaching a man to fish has yet to be reconciled. This is a huge problem. And, one that will hopefully be addressed as the international community switches gears from disaster relief to reconstruction in Haiti. The shallowness of his consideration is mind bottling. I'm not trying to champion the Haitian people are defend the pre-earthquake state of that country. Because that place was messed up. But it was messed up for a lot of reasons. What I am trying to do is say that Shirley did an absolutely terrible job with this wannabe-Hitchens screed because he didn't think any of his points through. He did a disservice to any reader who had come to trust him during his writing career. And, that's why we should not read another word this guy ever writes.

Well, because of all that stuff and because Shirley likely thinks Roberto Clemente was a chump. After all, the Hall of Fame outfielder died in a plane crash while delivering much-needed supplies to earthquake-ravaged Managua on Dec. 31 1973. And, why was Clemente on a plane on New Year’s Eve? Because Nicaragua was a mess at the time and there was much fear in the US that the aid was not reaching those who needed it most. So, what did Clemente, who was from Puerto Rico, do in the face of such circumstances? Did he see the existing corruption as a reason keep his offering from the collection plate? Nope. Did he see the good fortune in his own life as proof that we all get what we deserve? Nope. He saw the already fucked up circumstances and felt that they demanded even greater action. In memory of Clemente, please stop reading this guy.

Sincerely,

The Rest of the World

PS: And, yes. I do know that I’m the fool for letting Shirley’s spotlight-grabbing contrarian ploy bother me. Who knows if he actually believes any of what he wrote. It’s entirely possible this is another savvy media play by a marginally-talented athlete with a modicum of writing skill who has managed to consistently fail upward. Still, I’ve thought twice and thrice and [insert word for seventeen times] about his post and I just can’t stand by when a writer with Shirley’s platform (he has published a book and writes wrote for ESPN)spreads gross misinformation to readers who may be inclined to assume his opinion is researched in the slightest. So, if he really wanted a 2,000-word rebuttal then I guess I was the guy for the job.

PPS:

Monday, January 25, 2010

The End of the Beginning

I delicately placed the mostly-full, blue-and-gold can of light beer down on the wood floor, to the left of my chair, when Jets rookie quarterback Mark Sanchez deftly pulled the hand off back from hard-charging, hulking rookie running back Shonn Greene. Was this it? The predictable, yet-still-effective big play (usually play action, occasionally accompanied by a rollout) that the Jets have been attempting a few offensive series into each game in recent weeks? Why, yes. I think it was.

When Sanchez pump faked, I inched toward the edge of my seat. I leaned over, hands on knees, fingers digging into my knee caps through the same gray pants that I'd been wearing on game day for nearly a month. The ball traced a precise arc downfield, that any T-82 calculator would have envied. Drop-prone receiver Braylon Edwards shook his defender by faking in towards the post and then turning his route back out and up the sideline. I was now up and out of the same leather armchair that I'd sat in two Saturdays ago when the Jets upset the Bengals on a blustery afternoon in Cincinnati, and nearly knocked over the three pillars of empty cans to my left. As No. 17 raced along the sideline, I was striding across the living room, across the expanse of the beautiful flat-screen television, tip-toing the edge of the area rug (that really does tie the living room together, although not as securely as the trio of framed sketches of Roman landmarks hanging above the television) with my hands out in front of my chest screaming BRAAAAAAAAAAAY-LLLLUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!

And then he caught the ball. Dr. Dropsies, himself, caught the long bomb. Further validating my theory that he can make every play provided his feet are not already in the endzone. I raised my hands up over my head to signal touchdown. He broke down the sideline. Edwards crossed in to the endzone, flipped away the ball and this was happening.

After two playoff upsets and a week of maybe-well-possibly-they-could conejcture, this was really happening. Edwards didn't drop the ball. HOLY MOTHERFUCKING BEARDED HIPPIE JESUS ON A STREET CORNER THE J-E-T-S ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL! Am I going to the Super Bowl? HELL, YEAH. I'M GOING TO THE FUCKING SUPER BOWL!?!?!?!?!?! Is there time to drive. No. I'm flying. To MIAMI. WHAT IS THIS MIAMI BEACH? YES, IT IS. How much will it cost? Who cares! I can't believe Braylon caught that ball! Oh my god. The Jets are beating the Colts. This is really for realsies totally happening! They are gonna pull this off!

There were a half dozen people in the same living room, watching the game, watching me. The were likekly wary of me breaking something in my exuberance but they were also caught up in what seemed to be happening. I was laughing. Yelling. Clapping. Totally caught up in the moment. And, what a moment. I mean, what a throw. What a catch. And that speed burst to reach the endzone unmolested. What a beautiful moment. Absolutely gorgeous.

And thoroughly fleeting.

Because even though the Jets took a 17-6 lead late in the first half on another Sanchez touchdown pass, Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning spent virtually every minute after that second Jets' strike showing that he may in fact be the very best quarterback in the history of the National Football League. He gave up on No. 1 wide receiver Reggie Wayne. He called back the rescue boats and left him to rot on Revis Island, instead exploiting the rest of the Jets' injury-depleted secondary by threading passes to Austin Collie, Pierre Garcon and Dallas Clark. Manning discarded many of the plays coming in from the sideline. Mostly the ones that didn't call for him to throw the ball. He might has well have taken the field for the second half wearing surgical scrubs or a hangman's hood. He was precise, professional, playing without malice or mercy. My green waves of euphoria crashed on the broad shoulder pads of Peyton. And he picked up his teammates and the middle-aged men who coach those teammates and placed them on those very same shoulders and carried them to Miami.

All of Sanchez's improvements in recent weeks, all of the yards accrued with Greene's and Thomas Jones' running this year, the exemplary work of the offensive and defensive lines, and Brad Smith's pass that I've been forecasting to anyone who would listen. All of that stuff. Wasn't enough against Peyton. Once he got his lineman positioned in such a way that he wasn't underfoot after each dropback then he was unbelievable. Just unbelievable.

And, I'm fine with it. Because for about 20 minutes I was as happy as I've ever been as a sports fan. From the moment that Sanchez lofted that play-action pass to Edwards right through the moment the Jets kicked off after Dustin Keller's touchdown catch, I thought my team was going to the Super Bowl. And, I know that two teams go every year. And they have been for a long time. But not the Jets. Not those same ol' Jets. Those Jets usually aren't even good enough to break your heart. Like the Knicks were for so long. And like the Mets have been recently. That second quarter Edwards TD catch will go down alongside Endy Chavez's over-the-wall catch in Game 7 of the 2006 NLCs, Mike Piazza's game-tying home run in Game 6 of the 1999 NLCS, John Starks' dunk against the Bulls in 1993, and Larry Johnson's 4-point play in 1999 as one of those New York sports moments* that meant everything right up until it was rendered largely trivial by an ensuing defeat.

But even if these Jets are not going to the Super Bowl. Even if I'm not going to the Super Bowl. And, I'm not. We all shared that fleeting exultation for a few minutes on a Sunday afternoon. We all felt that joy. And it was real. Even if it was ill-founded. And, I'll take it. Because the beauty of sports fandom is those moments. Those ALL CAPS moments. Those I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT SOMETHING I WANTED TO HAPPEN IS HAPPENING AND THAT A GROUP OF STRANGERS TO WHOM I REFER TO AS "WE" HAVE ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING SIGNIFICANT moments. And, you've got to take them when you can, even if they come in a loss. Especially if they come in a loss. Because that's life. At least if you're a fan of the Mets, Knicks and Jets.

Sunday was a great day for this Jets fan. Mostly because of the first two thirds of that second quarter when I believed with the fervor of the newly converted. When I was as happy as any Colts or Saints fan will be in two week's time. And, just because of a football game. But also because I do believe the 2010 Jets have every chance to be better than the 2009 Jets. And that sort of optimism is a rare commodity. And, I'm going to grab onto it just like Edwards gathered that long pass from Sanchez (or maybe I'll grab it with the much-surer hands of Jericho Cotchery). Throughout the second half of the 1990s, the Knicks were playing with desperation in the postseason. They needed to win. Or else. Every shot was their last best shot. And the Mets were always pushing that rock up hill like Sisyphus only to have it roll back on them. The run in 2006 wasn't so much the start of the run as it was their best gilt-edged chance. But I think with Rex Ryan behind the wheel that these Jets have everything in front of them. I can only hope for a few more moments like the one I had on Sunday. And, of course, it would be nice if one of those moments came at the end of season that they close with a victory.
"Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."-Winston Churchill
*And, when I say New York sports moments, I'm talking about those Jets-Mets-Knicks fans out there whose collective suffering can stand right up there alongside just about anyone's. When I think of New York sports fanhood I think of the gritty green-collar fans who've been faked spiked on, had their hearts ripped out by Michael Jordan and been witness to the self-immolation of their best and brightest (Doc and Daryl, I'm looking at you two). When I think of New York sports I'm not thinking about the luxury box crowd at Yankees Stadium or the AARP folks at Giants games who are more likely to tell you sit down then to high five you. But, I digress. And, I don't mean to knock Yankees fans and Giants fan but only to point out that there is another side of this city and its environs. The side that isn't Wall Street and Westchester. The side that is two jobs and a leak in your kitchen but hanging in their and keeping your head up.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Watch That Line

Just like last week, the late action seems to on the Jet's opponent. Yesterday the Colts were favored by 7 points. Then 7.5 points And now 8.5 points. Once this line gets up to Jets +9 then it's time to start wagering on the underdog J-E-T-S.

WWOD's Conference Champion Game Wagers
-When the lines first came out and the Jets were only getting 7.5 points, I teased the Colts down to -1.5 and the OVER down to 34. This was an emotional hedge that would give me a silver lining for a Colts win. And, I've got a feeling that if the Colts win that they're going to put up more than 20 points (although the Jets' foes have averaged close to 14 this season).

-As far as props, I'm looking at shortest field goal UNDER 26.5 yards, considering how good the Jets' defense has been playing how likely their offense is to be unable to punch it in at some point. I'm also at the Special Teams or Defensive Score bet that's coming off at +150 (meaning you win $150 for betting $100). The OVER on Austin Collie receiving yards at 50.5 might see a few bucks from me since I can only assume that Peyton Manning is not going to force any balls to his No. 1 option, who should be wearing Darrelle Revis around like a mink snuggie throughout the game.

-With the Jets' line moving and a likely shootout I'm thinking about teasing the Jets up to 15 (assuming that line gets up to +9) and the Vikings-Saints OVER down to 48.

-The Vikings are now getting just +3.5, which means the public money has been lining the denim pockets of the Gunslinger. In a game that essentially seems a pick 'em to me I might be tempted to just take the points. But probably not.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Underworld

Or, The Journey to the Center of the East

In H.G. Wells' science fiction classic The Time Machine, the protagonist, known simply as the Time Traveler, hurtles through the far future thanks to a device of his own invention. During one stop he encounters a far-future earth with a leisure class living without toil or (seemingly) trouble above ground and a brutish, dirty working race reclusively residing beneath the surface. Wells dubbed the beneath-the-cellar-dwelling race "the Morlocks" and his societal dichotomy has reappeared countless times in fiction in the ensuing 100+ years. Superman battled "mole men" in a black-and-white film in the 1950s. And most comic book superheroes have done so since. In nearly every case, those who dwell beneath the surface are dirty, unkempt and out to overthrow the race above. There have also been well-documented accounts of actual humans living in squalor beneath our city streets today. And, stories of a society thriving in a labyrinth beneath our feet always fascinated me.
Perhaps this is why I can't help but think of Wells' Morlocks when I look at the standings in the Eastern Conference of the NBA. The East is an earth with two separate and unequal classes of team. The Cleveland Cavaliers, Boston Celtics, Orlando Magic, Atlanta Hawks and Miami Heat are the club's that live in the nationally televised spotlight with at least one superstar per roster. They have contended for and/or won titles in recent years. They've got dependable home crowds and provide a draw whenever they come to a town near you.

Beneath them, mostly toiling away on regional cable channels and before sporadic crowds, lies the New York Knicks, New Jersey Nets, Philadelphia 76ers, Washington Wizards, Chicago Bulls, Detroit Pistons, Toronto Raptors, Indiana Pacers and Milwaukee Bucks. Some of these teams have a top-flight player and others still draw a solid crowd at home but they are lower-class citizens in the NBA. Each year sees one or two of these second-tier clubs claw its way to street level for a breath of fresh air but they usually do so at the expense of one of their brethren. The Pistons have been cast out of the light in recent years, allowing Toronto to escape the darkness of the basement. With the Raptors scuffling this season, though, the Bobcats have climbed above the .500 mark and made a case to be considered superior to their also-ran siblings.

Mired in mediocrity, plagued by poor personnel decisions, embroiled in mind games and scandalized by threats of gun violence, the lower-level teams are not going to catch Lebron and the Cavaliers this season. Although they share the same court a few times a year, they are not truly in the same league. Each group of teams - the glamour clubs and the grunts - is mostly only competing against members of its own group. The top teams vie for playoff seeding and homecourt advantage deep into the postseason tournament while the bottom teams vie to reach the center of the East's standings and gain access to the bottom few playoff spots.

In this regard, the bottom feeders are not like dastardly mole people that Supe tangles with. Neither the 76ers or Knicks are looking to steal the title this year. The Bulls are not going to take over the earth. Nope. The effort in the subterranean reaches of the East isn't exactly aimed at overthrowing the surface dwellers. Not at all. The NBA's morlocks are just looking to beat out their fellow cellar-dwellers for the 7th or 8th seed in the conference. Think of this chase for the final spots in the playoffs as midterm elections among the Mole People and nothing more. It doesn't affect the game's stars or their clubs. It's just an internecine struggle amongst middling franchises.

Whether they want to admit it or not (and they don't), these bottom feeders are playing a shadow season in the midst of the Games of the Week on ABC and ESPN and this underworld campaign began in earnest last Friday when the Raptors throttled the Knicks at the Garden on Italian Heritage Night. Following the Knicks loss to Toronto, they split a home-and-home set with the Pistons. The game with Toronto and the second tilt with Detroit were vitriolic affairs. As well they should be. These are the games that will decide the season for these clubs. The way that the Knicks play against their direct competitors for the last playoff spots will do far more to tell the tale of this campaign then the result of this Friday night's game against Kobe Bryant and the defending-world-champion Los Angeles Lakers.

Jan. 15 Toronto @ Knicks (L, 104-112)
Jan. 15 Washington @ Chicago
Jan. 16 Knicks @ Detroit (L, 90-94 )
Jan. 18 Detroit @ Knicks (W, 99-91)
Jan. 20 Toronto @ Milwaukee
Jan. 22 Milwaukee @ Toronto
Jan. 22 Indiana @ Detroit
Jan. 23 Philadelphia @ Indiana
Jan. 27 Philadelphia @ Milwaukee
Jan. 28 Toronto @ Knicks
Jan. 30 Knicks @ Washington
Jan. 31 Indiana @ Toronto
Feb. 2 Toronto @ Indiana
Feb. 3 Washington @ Knicks
Feb. 3 Chicago @ Philadelphia
Feb. 5 Milwaukee @ Knicks
Feb. 5 Detroit @ Indiana
Feb. 6 Indiana @ Milwaukee
Feb. 9 Detroit @ Milwaukee
Feb. 9 Washington @ Charlotte
Feb. 10 Philadelphia @ Toronto
Feb. 16 Knicks @ Chicago
Feb. 17 Chicago @ Knicks
Feb. 19 Milwaukee @ Detroit
Feb. 20 Washington @ Toronto
Feb. 20 Charlotte @ Milwaukee
Feb. 20 Philadelphia @ Chicago
Feb. 22 Milwaukee @ Knicks
Feb. 22 Chicago @ Washington
Feb. 24 Indiana @ Chicago
Feb. 25 Milwaukee @ Indiana
Feb. 26 Knicks @ Washington
Feb. 27 Chicago @ Indiana
Mar. 3 Detroit @ Knicks
Mar. 3 Washington @ Milwaukee
Mar. 5 Knicks @ Toronto
Mar. 5 Milwaukee @ Washington
Mar. 7 Philadelphia @ Toronto
Mar. 9 Philadelphia @ Indiana
Mar. 10 Charlotte @ Philadelphia
Mar. 12 Washington @ Detroit
Mar. 14 Indiana @ Milwaukee
Mar. 15 Knicks @ Philadelphia
Mar. 16 Charlotte @ Indiana
Mar. 19 Philadelphia @ Knicks
Mar. 19 Detroit @ Indiana
Mar. 20 Chicago @ Philadelphia
Mar. 23 Indiana @ Detroit
Mar. 23 Charlotte @ Washington
Mar. 24 Philadelphia @ Milwaukee
Mar. 24 Washington @ Indiana
Mar. 26 Washington @ Charlotte
Mar. 28 Chicago @ Detroit
Mar. 31 Philadelphia @ Charlotte
Apr. 2 Milwaukee @ Charlotte
Apr. 2 Chicago @ Washington
Apr. 3 Toronto @ Philadelphia
Apr. 3 Charlotte @ Chicago
Apr. 6 Milwaukee @ Chicago
Apr. 6 Detroit @ Philadelphia
Apr. 7 Knicks @ Indiana
Apr. 9 Milwaukee @ Philadelphia
Apr. 10 Detroit @ Charlotte
Apr. 11 Chicago @ Toronto
Apr. 12 Washington @ Knicks
Apr. 12 Toronto @ Detroit
Apr. 14 Knicks @ Toronto
Apr. 14 Indiana @ Washington
Apr. 14 Chicago 2 Charlotte

It looks like there are three playoff spots to be had and nine mediocre teams (10 if you include Miami) within 10 games of each other. By my count, there are more than 60 games pitting two of these subterranean rivals against each other, including 11 games in the last 10 days of the regular season. Avert your eyes from the bright lights of the better teams and thrill to the desperation of these games.

Welcome to the Underworld.

We shall sporadically check back on this shadow season to see how our light-starved contestants are faring in their journey to the center of the East.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Happy Birthday Jeff Van Gundy

Longtime coach in the Knicks organization and current member of the best three-man broadcasting team in pro sports, Jeff Van Gundy was born into this world on Jan. 19, 1962. He likely pulled an all-nighter studying game film and drinking Diet Cokes that very night. Years later, he was the balding boy wonder on Pat Riley's staff who earned the top spot on the staff after Riles' serpentine departure, thanks in large to being on the good side of the Big Fella. He led the upstart '99 club to the NBA Finals and then managed to get out of Dodge before the big top came crashing down on Jimmy Dolan's Seventh Avenue Circus. After a nice run in Houston, where he brought Ewing aboard as an assistant, Van Gundy reinvented himself as relentlessly idealistic basketball broadcaster with fine comedic timing. To celebrate JVG's birthday, WWOD unearthed a few poignant images from his hoops career.




Thursday, January 14, 2010

Hot Hands, Heavy Hearts

There were two heartstring-tugging human interest stories but just one game-winning shot.

Philadelphia center Samuel Dalembert was born in Port-au-Prince, Haiti in May 1981. Since Tuesday, his hometown has lay in ruins - bloodstained, smoldering - after a devastating 7.0 earthquake struck 16 miles from the city center. Tens (perhaps hundreds) of thousands were injured or killed within minutes of the quake near the Haitian capitol. And each hour that passes sees the death toll rise. The Presidential Palace collapsed. The UN Headquarters collapsed, giving the organization its largest-ever loss of life. The nation is torn asunder making it even harder for relief workers to arrive. Haiti is an impoverished nation whose growth has been hamstrung by France, the United States and the rest of the First World since it became the first independent nation in Latin America in 1804 and the first free black republic in the entire world. By the time the Knicks and Sixers took the floor at the Wachovia Center on Wednesday night, Dalembert had been in touch with his father and one of his sisters in terror-stricken Haiti.

Dalembert, in his seventh year in the NBA out of Seton Hall, has been charitable with the riches that his size and skill have earned him. He's tried to help those less fortunate then he, especially in his home country. But he had been unable to secure a flight to Haiti in the 24 hours since the quake and was at the center circle to take the tip against Jared Jeffries. Dalembert directed the tip to a teammate and then quickly scored the first points of the game. He scored 10 first-quarter points and grabbed seven boards. With season averages of 7.2 points and 9 caroms per game coming in, Dalembert was easily playing the best he has all year. Yet, the 7ers were trailing, 30-26, after one quarter.

And, that's because the other guy on the floor with a heavy heart (or at least the other guy with a well-publicized reason for being upset) was playing pretty damn well, too. David Lee, whose grandfather passed away on Tuesday night, opened up 4 for 5 from the floor and paced the Knicks' hot start with 8 points and four boards of his own. The rest of the Knicks came out on fire, too. Which was heartening after the poor shooting in the previous loss at Oklahoma City. When it rains it pours. Even Jeffries scored six early points. Jeffries' points represented the opportunistic way the team was playing, reminiscent of what the OKC did to them a few nights earlier. They were moving the ball fluidly. Like water, ever forward through the cracks in the defense, always path of least resistance even if that wasn't the "play."

For all the Knicks hot shooting, though, they were ahead by just two scores after one quarter. In the second period, the game turned Philly's way. Two things changed on the floor. Former All-Star Elton Brand checked in for Philly with the second unit and looked to assert himself. Gosh. Jee. Golly. Remember when this guy was one of the dominant power forwards in the game out West? And, now, just one major free-agent deal later, he is the odd fit on a run-and-gun second unit for a second division club in the East. And as incongruous as the veteran Brand seemed with the young, up-tempo second string, the marriage yielded a lead for the home side.

Thanks to some assertive play of their own, Harrington and Gallo were able to pull the Knicks even, 40-40, with five minutes to go in the first half. The Knicks have been undone on this trip by not being able to finish quarters (or start them...) and I thought they needed to finish this half strong against a team that can be had. With a chance to go 2-for-1 under a minute to secure the lead, Gallo grabs a board, sees a lane, goes coast to coast and just misses an acrobatic layup attempt. Actually it was out of control. It would have been "acrobatic" had he scored. But he didn't. Philly kept inching ahead. The Knicks needed stops and luck to be tied at the half.

Iverson looked rejuvenated after the break, scoring Philly's first few points in the third before passing the torch to rookie Jrue Holiday, who continues to look the more NBA-ready player than Knicks rookie Jordan Hill, despite being selected after Hill was off the board.The teams remained neck and neck into the fourth. But the Knicks seemed to be the one standing on their toes to stay level. Going behind. Pulling even. Going behind. Pulling even.

The hingepoint of the game was the fourth foul on Dalembert, late in the third, with Philly leading, 66-60. He was affecting the game more than any player on the court. More than Lee, who had tapered off after a hot start. More than Rodney Carney who had started to heat up from outside for Philly. More than AI who was playing fairly passively and didn't seem to have an answer for the Knicks zone defense. More than Andre Iguodalo, who barely seemed to be playing at all no matter how much he was on the court. Without Dalembert controlling the middle, the Knicks seemed to play with a sense of urgency they've been lacking on this three-game road swing since the opening period in Houston. Now, they were the team that was up and then even. Going ahead and then even into the middle of the fourth. That is, right up until Dalembert came back into the game and Marreese Speights got hot and looked to take over the endgame (with a little help from his friend Carney). Any confidence that the Knicks picked up in Dalembert's absence seemed to about to be undone by timely shooting from the home team.

The Knicks trailed, 86-90, with 1:17 to play. Wilson Chandler dropped in a six footer. Plus the harm. One point game. The game ticks past the one-minute mark as Jeffries controls the rebound off an Iverson miss from point blank range. The game tocks beneath 50 seconds as Duhon methodically brings the ball up the floor. The clock reads 45 seconds as Lee catches the ball 15 feet deep in the corner. It passes 44 seconds as Lee sets himself to shoot. It shows 43 when the scorekeeper adds two points to the Knicks total. After Lee's corner two, the Knicks have inched in front, 91-90. Without missing a beat, the Sixers take the ball out from under their own rim and get it to Speights for a short jumper. Good. Philly leads, 92-91. New York timeout.

Trailing, 92-91, with 26 seconds to play, the Knicks come out of the timeout with a play called. In the past, the play would have involved Stephon Marbury penetrating, tucking the ball in the crook of his well-muscled arm and getting to the rim to shoot, be fouled or hand off a pass to Eddy Curry at the rim. More recently, the play would have been to get the ball to Jamal Crawford to let him whittle away the seconds with high dribbles beyond the arc only to loft a rainbow jumper towards the rim at the last second. On Tuesday, the ball was quickly gotten to Lee from Duhon. Then no. 42 backed in towards the rim. He spun. Defenders collapsing on him, reaching for the ball, like lonely spinsters grasping for bride's bouquet during the wedding reception. Lee got the ball up onto the rim. It seemed too strong. It bounced. Moving across the mouth of the goal. Looking like it was going to roll right off the far side. But it went up, not out, and then fell through with 14 seconds left. Thanks to back-to-back clutch hoops by Lee, the Knicks led, 93-92. Philadelphia Timeout.

With the game in the balance, the Sixers looked to get the lengthy Speights (and not either player with the initials AI) a look close to the rim but Lee (with some good help defense) smothered him. The ball was kicked out of the post to an on-the-move Iverson who swung it to Carney, who'd been killing the Knicks from deep earlier. Carney lofted a three. One Second. It misses! Buzzer. Whether it had to do with his grandfather (who he credited for keeping his game-winning shot on the rim long enough to roll in) or just the heat of the moment, Lee's fire after the buzzer sounded got me amped up. Even though he's on a one-year deal and might not be back he is taking these games personally. And I like it.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Who Ya Gonna Call?

With the Knicks trailing the StolenSonics in short order on Monday night, like shades of March 2008 short order, coach Mike D'Antoni called down the bench to Nate Robinson. Shortly thereafter he was calling for Jonathan Bender. The pair would score the Knicks last six points of the first quarter to keep the team close enough, 24-34, that a comeback was conceivable. Robinson with 19 points and Bender with a surprise 16 were the club's leading scorers in a rout at Oklahoma City.

If I tell you that little-used and until-recently-retired jump shooting power forward Bender outscored David Lee, Al Harrington, Wilson Chandler and Danilo Gallinari (and a combination of Gallo with any other player) while the opposition broke 100 points then the mathematics of the game become clear. The Knicks lost. And it wasn't close. While the loss to the Rockets on Saturday night was the result of poor execution in the second half, this was a game where the team seemed ill prepared physically and mentally for the pace of the game. Fans at the Ford Center don't take their seats until their ill-gotten club (and, yes, I'm still upset that this franchise isn't in Seattle), which to their credit they have taken to with great vigor, scores its first points of the night. I like this tradition and hope they can keep it going. By the time they sat down last night, less than 30 seconds into the game, the contest had been decided.

Second-year point guard Russell Westbrook bounded past stone-still Chris Duhon to slam home an offensive rebound to open the scoring. The Thunder played at a youthful frenetic pace that got them tip ins and dunks. They moved the ball urgently and unselfishly like a team playing to stay on the court rather than a team trying to run an offense. Easy buckets. Quick north-south passes to secondary breakers running down the lane. Put backs after crashing the glass. Which, of course, gave them the far more consistent offense than the more methodical Knicks. And Durant's explosive seemed to catch everyone in a blue uniform by surprise. By starting a small center in Lee and using Jared Jeffries to defend point guards, D'Antoni's Knicks have generally been the team presenting matchup problems for opponents this season but that was not the case in America's 48th-largest media market (Seattle is the 13th largest). Durant, Westbrook, Jeff Green and Thabo Sefolosha were longer and more active than the Knicks from jump street. They led by 10 after one quarter and 16 at the half.

Facing such a deficit and having gotten almost nothing from Lee and exactly nothing from Gallo, the Knicks needed the Thunder to lose their composure just as the Knicks had two nights earlier in Texas. But, that didn't happen. Durant, who finished the game with 30 points (on 8-14 shooting), kept coming and his teammates were just flat-out livelier throughout. According to Frank Isola in the News, however, some of the Knicks had been up all night concerned about apparitions that weren't alive at all. In a notebook story in today's paper, Isola reports that several Knicks were exhausted at gametime because they had been unable to sleep the previous two nights at the team's posh hotel in downtown Oklahoma City. Because it is haunted. Obvi.

Eddy Curry reportedly spent most of his time holed up in Nate's room because his room on the 10th floor was in ghost central. "I definitely believe it," Jared Jeffries told Isola. "The place is haunted. It's scary."
Originally opened in 1911, the opulent two-towered hotel was the pride of oilman W.B. Skirvin, which is why it's still called the Skirvin Hotel even though it appears to be operated by Hilton. The hotel was one of the finest in the Southwest for decades before closing in 1988, presumably due to lack of business. And, ghosts. For years, stories have swirled about that guests and employees could hear a baby crying. Others have spun yarns about phantom maid cart patrolling the hallways, presumably leaving haunted mints behind. Some have peeped a female apparition showering. And, one fellow even claimed to have been sexually assaulted by a saucy female ghoul. The source of these hauntings has been credited to a woman posthumously nicknamed "Effie."
The Oklahoma showplace became a popular speak-easy during prohibition. It was during this time that W.B. Skirvin was said to have had an affair with one of the hotel maids. According to legend, the maid soon conceived and in order to prevent a scandal, she was locked in a room on the top floor of the hotel. The desolate girl soon grew depressed and even after the birth of her child; she was still not let out of the room. Half out of her mind, she finally grabbed the infant child and threw herself, along with the baby, out of the window.
As far as ghost stories, that is a pretty good one. Instead of calling Nate and Bender off the bench on Monday it looked like D'Antoni would have been better served calling, Pete, Ray and Egon on Sunday.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Minds Games

Knicks be playing those mind games together
Pushing for minutes, asking for trades
Playing the bench guerrilla
Chanting the mantra, seven seconds or less
We all been playing those mind games forever
Calling your agent, waving the towels
Doing the bench guerrilla
Some call it chemistry, only playing for fouls

Win is the answer and you know that for sure
Win is a flower, you got to let it, you got to let it grow

Knicks been playing those mind games since Isiah
Faith in the future, Lebron and Gallo
D'Antoni just can't please those bench guerrillas
Nate returns with Larry's playing time
Yeah we're playing those mind games forever
Berman spreading the anger in print, line by line

Coach has the answer and you know that for sure
Coach wants surrender, you got to let it, you got to let it go

So keep on playing those mind games together
Changing the rotation, defend and run
Roster of bench guerrillas
Chalking their hands, at the scorer's table they kneel
Keep on playing those mind games forever
Trade deadline looming, who'll we be rid of?

Win...
(I want you to win, not lose, I know you've heard it before)

(Lennon-Hughes)

***
In the first game of the new year on the first day of the new year, Nate Robinson surprisingly returned from exile to score 41 points and led the sputtering (and, yes, a road loss to New Jersey two days earlier counts as as a sputter) Knickerbockers to a come-from-behind overtime triumph at Atlanta. This was the Knicks second tight win @Atlanta this season and put the team on the right path in January after a promising 9-6 run in December. Nate scored 11 points in overtime. The Hawks scored 9. He won the game. Plain. Simple. And, I'd like to think, according to plan.

And, no I don't believe that D'Antoni planned on Nate exploding for 41 points to carry the team to a road win when he inserted him late in the first quarter with the regulars scuffling and trailing. But, I would like to believe that D'Antoni was always planning on re-inserting Nate into the rotation when he stopped playing him after Dec. 1. I'd like to think that he wasn't just giving up on a player eminently capable of 40-point explosions on any given night. As strange as it seems, I would like to think that D'Antoni actually was playing just the sort of mind games that Larry Hughes accused him of. I'd rather have a coach trying to get into the heads of players in hopes of getting the best out of them than a coach who buries talented guys on the bench just because he doesn't like them. Given a choice between authoratiaran mind games (temporarily benching a player to get his attention) and childish pettiness (giving up on a talented athlete because you don't like him), I'll take the mind games every time. Now, I'm not really quite sure that Robinson's reappearance and Hughes re-absence were planned - that they are mind games we've been playing - or if they are the knee-jerk reactions of a coach desperate for wins. I'm not sure. But, I'm hoping for mind games.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Gettarlo Gui, Uomo Grande!


The player that smoothly head fakes a charging perimeter defender after recieving the ball outside the three-point arc; drives past another en route to the paint; before cruising into the interior before a third can help from the far side; and ultimately splits two more opposing players, dunking over the tallest one is none other than the man-child who leads the National Basketball Association in three-point shots made this season.

Knicks second-year forward Danilo Gallinari has settled in as a 15-24 points per game scorer and shown flashes of being an inside-out player with few equals. His three-point shooting has been noted but every once in a while he shows off a dunk like this or blocks a shot to remind everyone that he's nearly seven feet tall and only getting stronger.

New Year, New Normal

Playing for the first time in 2010, the New York Knicks routed the Indiana Pacers at Madison Square Garden, 132-89. And almost nobody noticed. There are three reasons for this.

1) The Jets were playing a nationally televised game last night in the Meadowlands with a playoff berth on the line.
2) Lots of people don't care about the NBA. Especially in (October through...) January (...through June).
3) A Knicks' win no longer qualifies as a "man bites dog" situation.

The first two reasons are self explanatory. The third reason is actually quite shocking if you think about the state of this team at the start of December when they were 3-15. At that point, Mike D'Antoni's Knicks were just barely behind the Nets in the race towards the bottom. Each Knickerbocker win was treated as a fragile, handmade curios like one might buy for their girlfriend from Etsy. In November the few Knicks' wins were to be examined, appreciated and set aside in a glass-walled cabinet alongside small animal figurines. They were conversation pieces for longtime fans, collected and cataloged but not for everyday use.

In the span of few weeks, though, the circumstances have changed. Including last night's home win over Indy, the Knicks have won 10 of their last 15 games. They've learned that, on defense, effort can make up lack of acumen. The Knicks held 12 foes under 100 points during the month as opposed to just 2 previously. They've righted the ship after the franchise-worst 1-9 start. They've put themselves squarely in the hunt for the eighth spot (and maybe even the seventh, sixth and fifth) in the Eastern Conference.