Thursday, April 24, 2008

The Knicks Are Like the Dream Team

Insofar as Isiah Thomas is Not Allowed to Contact Them

Isiah Thomas knows all about the ol' freeze out. He's done the freezing and he's been frost bit before. As the story goes Isiah Thomas was the ring leader in the East locker room prior to the 1985 NBA All-Star Game. In this capacity he convinced his teammates, including Moses Malone, Larry Legend, Dr. J, Bernard King and the Chief, to keep the ball out of the hands of a rookie from the Chicago Bulls, Michael Jordan. Thomas's reason for this was that he felt like the young scorer was getting an inordinate amount of media attention for someone who hadn't paid his dues yet. You might have heard of this Jordan character. Well, apparently he was a bit of competitor and he didn't take kindly to being locked out of the offense. In fact, he held that grudge for decades.

When the IOC amended their rules so as to allow professional basketball players to participate in the 1992 Olympics the whole sporting world was aflutter with the possibilities. The NBA was in a golden era and the spots on the team were priceless. Chuck Daly was named the head coach of the squad and the roster was assembled. The starting center was Patrick Ewing (of course). The starting power forward was Karl Malone. The starting small forward was Charles Barkley. The starting shooting guard was Michael Jordan. And the starting point guard? It sure as hell wasn't Isiah Thomas. It was Magic Johnson. And the backup point guard? Isiah? Nope. It was John Stockton.

This time, as the tale is told, Michael Jordan was the one doing the freezing out. And Isiah was the one out in the cold. He was passed over by the United States men's national basketball team in spite of recently leading the Pistons to back-to-back titles in the years leading up to the Games. He was passed over in spite of the fact that he was undeniably one of the greatest point guards to ever play the game. He was passed over in spite of the fact that his own coach was calling the shots.

He missed out on one of the defining moments for a generation of ballers because he was so selfishly short-sighted in that 1985 All-Star Game. He missed out because his petty jealousy incited him to use his Napoleonic sway as PG in that game to try to take down a kid who had done nothing wrong other than score points as a rookie. And, don't get me wrong, I hate Michael Jordan as much as you can actually hate a professional athlete that you don't know. But, I'd take his side in this battle.

And, as usual, Jordan wins in this rivalry too. Yeah he only got off 9 shot attempts as a starter in his first All-Star Game appearance but he also led the most celebrated team possibly in the history of sport and participated in what could only have been some of the most dramatic high-stakes poker games in the history of gambling during those weeks in Spain.

So, Isiah must have felt a familiar feeling when new Knicks Team President Donnie Walsh informed him the other day that he was prohibited from making any contact with any players on the Knicks roster or coaches on the coaching staff. He must have had a little deja vu. Because he's been here before. He's been told to stay away from team's he felt, in one case rightly and in the other wrongly, that he should have been on. He knows what it's like to not be welcome. To be frozen out.

The karmic paybacks are just starting for Isiah Lord Thomas. He tried to hold down Jordan. Talk about your all-time backfires. He tried to run the Knicks for his own vanity rather than for the fans and for the players. He stubbornly insisted that he would never quit or change even if the circumstances seemed to beg either or both of those moves. And, now his bluff has been called. He has been stripped of his titles. He's likely had to give up all of his office space. He can't show up at the Garden unless he's coming to report to Walsh. He is barred from contact with anyone other Walsh. And his bold proclamations about never quitting, ever, will force him to be powerlessly present as his work is undone. His refusal to admit failure will allow him to be even further humiliated by Walsh who can now use him as an errand boy and doesn't seem shy about doing so, already mentioning that Isiah will be available to be sent to Europe if there is a prospect to be seen.

That example of the sort of task that Isiah could be assigned is particularly hilarious given the complete lack of European scouting that occurred under his stewardship. And, this is why I have no problem with the fact that Isiah hasn't been totally fired from the organization. In fact, I like this even better. He's been stripped of all power and now only has accountability, something that he never had before. Now he is Donnie Walsh's basketball concierge. That is a far more shameful fate than simply being fired. If he'd been fired he could have just left town. He could have potentially even moved on to another pursuit (probably not a NBA job) and distanced himself from the past few years of his life. That isn't an option now.

He's stuck, frozen in fact, by his refusal to quit. He's not allowed to talk to the players who he coached and hired because of how poorly he has been known to handle himself. Walsh doesn't want Isiah whispering poisoned somethings in the ears of Jamal Crawford or any other Knicks who may still foolishly trust him. He doesn't want him turning the Knicks locker room against whomever the new coach is in the same way that he turned that 1985 All-Star Game locker room against Jordan.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

"This House Is Clean"


Isiah Thomas Is Removed As Knicks Coach

A poltergeist has been exercised from the World's Most Famous Arena. Isiah Thomas will no longer be haunting the sidelines at the Garden. He will no longer be allowed to move around the furniture (or the personnel) while everyone is soundly asleep.

Donnie Walsh made the inevitable announcement late yesterday afternoon that Isiah would not return as coach next season. Everyone knew it just had to be coming. I mean, just look at the last year of his terrible tenure. But we all wanted it so bad that we were afraid that it wouldn't happen. We were so beaten down by the past seven seasons, by everything that has happened from the day that Patrick was traded to Seattle right through the way that Mike Dunleavy carved us up for 36 points for the third time this season. Non-Knicks fans would tease about the possibility that lil' Jimmy Dolan would somehow get Isiah a stay of execution for one more season. When Kiki Vandeweghe was rumored for the gig that Walsh ended up taking the papers reported that Isiah's staying on was a condition of the tentative deal. But Kiki wasn't an Academic All-American at UCLA by accident and he walked away.

And, clearly there was no way that the ol' pro from the Bronx was going to sign on to start with one hand tied behind his back. Walsh knows this city enough to know that if he took the helm of the S.S.Knickerbocker and didn't fire Isiah immediately that we would leave port next season with a breach already in the hull. He'd be taking on water and losing fan support from day one if he didn't make that move. He knew that by firing Isiah he would gain the goodwill of the citizenry and that he would be given a free pass for early struggles because those struggles would be growing pains rather than death throes.

Growing pains and death throes. That will be the difference between next season and last season. Because Isiah Thomas is gone (at least from sight if not from the payroll) this ballclub can move forward. For the first time in a long time, something went the way it was supposed to. Something went the way that we had hoped.

And, after seeing how quickly and clinically Walsh removed Isiah from this position one can even hope to see things being done the right way from here on out.

"I can't really tell you where he failed with the club. I think that we reached a point this season when our team didn't compete for a long time," new team president Donnie Walsh said. "The bottom line is that we haven't won and the team didn't look like it was motivated to try to win and be competitive."~Donnie Walsh on demoting Isiah Thomas

Thursday, April 17, 2008

And So It Goes

The 2007-2008 Knicks Season Is Over After One Last Rout In Indiana
Knicks 123 - 132 Pacers


It's over. It's done with. This incarnation of the New York Knickerbockers will never take the floor again together. Right?

This coaching staff will never lead another group of young men into battle bearing spoons instead of swords. Right?

One can only hope. Well, except for Mike Dunleavy of the Pacers who probably doesn't want this team to change a thing. To him this Knicks team is just perfect. They've got the perfect combination of slow rotating defenders in the half court and slower transition in the open court for him to score precisely 36 points per night, which he did in 3 out of 4 times he faced NY this season. That's his career high.

It's been a brutal season. It's been exhausting the past few weeks. And, I know that the losing has made it hard to muster the energy to post on this site. Or to sit on the couch and watch games. Hell, I was at the game on Monday actively hoping that they would lose so as not to hurt their draft position. There's no doubt that it's been a rough year. The roughest that I've seen.

It's rougher than 2005-2006 when Larry Brown's team finished with an identical record. That season was terrible. It was dysfunctional. But it wasn't embarrassing in the myriad ways that this year was. This team lost 34 games by ten or more points. They lost 10 games by 20 or more points. They lost a game by 26 points. They lost a game by 28 points. They lost a game by 29 points. They lost a game by 30 points. They lost a game by 32 points. They lost a game by 34 points. And they lost a game by 40 points.

This team even lost a lawsuit. They lost players to injury. They lost their dignity. They lost in every conceivable way that they could have.

But it is over. And so it goes.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

The End of An Error and An Anthem

Late in Monday night's loss to the second-string Boston Celtics a familiar refrain rang through the Garden. It rose above the crinkling and crackling of food wrappers. It soared up to the rafters and mingled with the names and numbers of the legends hanging high above the parquet floor. It was what seems likely to be the very last "Fire Isiah" chant that will ever be uttered in Madison Square Garden.



After such an arduous season saw this phrase enter the sports lexicon it seems strange that it may never be uttered again. It seems almost unbelievable that I won't need to give voice to those words ever again. Or maybe, "Fire Isiah" can live on as a catch-all call-to-arms for any fan base when their coach or general manager deserves to be sacked.

Perhaps Isiah can attach his name to forcible regime changes in NBA the way that Mario Mendoza forever linked himself to ineptitude at the plate in Major League Baseball or the way that Tommy John ended up being better known as a surgical procedure than a pitcher.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Isiah's Scorched Draft Policy

How Isiah Thomas Wants To Hurt This Team Even After He's Gone


It is a military tactic in use since before the reign of Pontius Pilate. The Scythians used it before their territory was overrun by the Persians. The Armenians used it before their lands were taken by the Greeks. In the American Civil War the troops of the Confederacy were ordered to implement this same action as General Sherman and his Union soldiers marched towards them. (Of course, Sherman was going to do the same when he arrived anyway, but that is neither here nor there.) Throughout all recorded time those who have been certain to lose their lands and possessions in battle have destroyed them rather than abandon them to the uses of the approaching enemy. It is called scorched earth and it is nothing new. It is as old as war itself.

It is another way of saying that if "I can't have it than nobody can." And, it is exactly what Isiah Thomas has been trying to do to the Knicks draft pick ever since Donnie Walsh was hired. With the writing on the wall that his reign over the court at the Garden is over. With the hoof beats of Walsh's horses quaking the ground several floors beneath the hardwood, Isiah has inexplicably started coaching again in what can only be construed as an attempt to squander the one silver-lining in this cloudy season: the team's draft pick. By winning three of their last four games the Knicks have given up the inside track on one of the top three picks. They have potentially forsook that which could redeem this lost season.

The Daily News reported that Thomas even had the audacity to hold the longest practice that the team has had in weeks on Sunday. It was not too long ago that he was barely asking his players to shoot-around before tip-off. And, now he wants them to practice? Why? So that he can get a better look at Randolph Morris? Nope. So that they can squeak out a win over Charlotte? Or a playoff bound Pistons team that is resting its starters?

Actually, yes. That is exactly why. In his own retreat from his soon to be conquered territory Isiah is for-once heeding the lessons of history. He is not ignoring those wiser leaders who came before him. He is listening to them and he is setting fire to the most precious assets that he has so that those who usurp his lands cannot make use of them.

Isiah Thomas is coaching again just to ruin our chance at Derrick Rose. He does not want to help his erstwhile enemies (Donnie Walsh, the players themselves and the fans are included in this number) succeed in the place where he failed so famously. In doing so he is taking away the only good thing that he could have brought forth from the wretched incubator of his tenure on the bench.

He is setting fire to our draft lottery ping pong balls just as those Scythians set fire to their fields and slaughtered all the livestock which they could not carry with them as they fled their conquerors.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

"Winner! Winner! Chicken Dinner!"

Announcing the Winner of the 2008 WWOD? NCAA Tournament POOL

This familiar (at least to me) phrase comes to us from the casinos of Las Vegas, Nevada. It comes from a seemingly distant time when Vegas wasn't seedy and family friendly in equal parts. It comes from a time when gambling was classy, martinis were taken in a fedora with breakfast and the Mafia and the Rat Pack rather than the IRS and the motion picture business ran the town. Back in those by-gone days calls of "Winner, winner! Chicken Dinner!" could be heard resounding through the oxygenated casino floors all around town. Back then the standard bet was $2. And most casinos offered a three-piece chicken dinner with some sort of potato and another vegetable for the bargain price $1.79. So, one winning hand could bring anyone a chicken dinner. Ergo, "winner, winner, chicken dinner."

Although the winner of the 2008 WWOD? Tourney Pool does not actually get a delicious chicken dinner, they do win the awesomest prize ever (offered by me for winning this year's pool). And, the winner of that prize is none other than WWOD? reader and picker of Kansas MarkJacksonShimmy. Mr JacksonShimmey is a Pacers fan and commenter who beat the rest of us rather soundly in this year's pool.

He picked 11 of the Sweet 16, seven of the Elite Eight and three of the Final Four. And he had Kansas to win it all. The only demerits on this bracket is that he missed the boat on Davidson and Western Kentucky but, then again, so did just about everyone else. Most notably Georgetown and Drake.

For his prescient picks he is receiving a limited edition What Would Oakley Do? T-Shirt. I can only hope that this will be worn with pride around the environs of the state of Indiana and spread the WWOD? gospel to the land of Rik Smits and Chuck Person.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Really? A Three-Game Winning Streak? Really?

I hate that the Knicks beat the Bobcats, 109-107, at the Garden. I hate it.

"The Mets have found ways of losing that I never knew existed."~Casey Stengel

A Photo Essay of the Mets 2008 Home Opener
Part Seven
Actually there wasn't really anything new for Casey in this one. This loss was eerily similar to so many losses from the end of last year. Timid bats and terrible relief pitching. To be honest, I'd kind of like the team to find a new way of losing.

"I've come to the conclusion that the two most important things in life are good friends and a good bullpen."~Bob Lemon

A Photo Essay of the Mets 2008 Home Opener
Part Six
And, here's the moment when it started to feel like September all over again. When the sense of inevitability crept into my chest. When Willy went to the bullpen and called out #60.

The first home-team-directed chorus of boos for the 2008 season rained down upon none other than Scotty Schoeneweis. After coming on and sort-of starting the seventh inning (after Joe Smith took the hill but never threw a pitch) the Show gave up to 2 hits and a hit-by-pitch before almost escaping the jam on a tailor-made double-play ball to Delgado at first. Unfortunately, Delgado pegged Utley while making his throw to second. Everyone was safe and two runs scored. Tie ballgame. And, boos. Lots of them.   

Down a run heading into the eighth things were not nearly as bad as they felt. Especially since Heillman, arguably the team's best reliever, was on the hill. Wright was leading off bottom of the inning. There was plenty of time to turn this around.

False. Heillman gave up 2 runs on 2 hits in his one inning of work.

"A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings."~Earl Wilson

A Photo Essay of the Mets 2008 Home Opener
Part Five

Sometimes you can just sense that it's not your day. Looking at this picture you might think that either Shane Victorino or Jayson Werth had such a sense after their collision in centerfield. But you'd be wrong. That sense was in the seats and at second base. Where us Mets fans and David Wright all felt robbed of at least a double. For what's worth, I thought that Victorino dropped the ball from my perch ten zillion feet away. Apparently the Umpire who was much closer disagreed. 
 
While all the talk heading in to the game was about the looming presence of CitiField no one knew about the last addition at Shea. The future. You can apparently see it through a hole in the wall on the Mezzanine level. And, it seems to have scared this guy.

Meanwhile, back in the stands fans are much more concerned with the present and with the drunk guy presently punching them in their faces. By the midpoint of the game it was getting rough upstairs. Phillies pitcher Jamie Moyer had slowed down the game in a Trachselian manner and the natives were getting restless. This skirmish actually featured someone throwing a cop down a few stairs. 

This drunk wasn't throwing any cops, he was just throwing up. He casually threw up beneath his seat and didn't tell his friends, who didn't notice. He would soon grind the vomit into the floor with his shoe so that no one would be the wiser. Classy. 

We can only hope that these two can reconcile their differences.